Day twenty-six, I decided to let you hear from the other women in my house. I casually quizzed them and didn't give them much time to think about it. I told them to stay away from the obvious... my family, my home, Jesus, etc. This is how they answered and how I shaped it up for them...
Rosalind (10 yrs, 11 mo.) was the first to answer... she said, "A table so that we can sit and eat at it as a family." (family meals- which we do very often); furniture (to hang out together); a toothbrush so that my mouth and teeth don't get all nasty, so my teeth don't fall out and so I can communicate. (quite a mouthful for 'toothbrush'); family & friends (thank you Capt. Obvious); my life... If I was answering for Rosalind, I would say she's thankful for flannel jammies, quiet mornings, the piano, tennis shoes, good (healthy) food, good drinking water, and whistling.
Rayne (9 yrs, 7 mo.) was the most reluctant one to answer (the tv was on and she was watching a lot of commercials). She started with one word answers like, "Jesus." (who can argue that?); water- if we didn't have water, we couldn't live (thank you, again, Capt. Obvious); my bed... I love my bed; clothes; church; home. If I were to answer for Rayne, I'd say she appreciates snacks, pop, junk food, kitties, hair products that tame her mane, her blankets that she sleeps with, her DS, the wii, art lessons, her tree swing, and living next door to Aunt Rita.
Regan (13 yrs, 7 mo.) broke the rules right off the bat... she said, "Having the family that I have." (After watching the World's Strictest Parents on tv with us tonight, she decided that her parents should participate in that show. It was so strange to watch that it; it was like watching our home only with different characters. It was nothing like I thought it would be. A little surreal. Rodney and I were making lots of comments... we had never seen the show either, and Regan allowed that if they [the girls] were going to watch it, me and dad had to go to our room! Ha! We watched the rest of it without adult commentary.) Regan went on to add, "That we live in a country where we can worship God freely. Food. My school- the teachers and the students... the way it works." (mutual respect) If I were guessing or making my own additions... she's thankful for t-shirts, Uggs, friends, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, getting to drive some, and spending time at grandma's house.... I think she truly understands and values the life she has and the people and circumstances in it.
All my girls highly value good books, cowboy boots, chocolate, iPods, ponytails, computer time, our church, their sisters (each other), and bike rides. They love our family, our friends and just people in general. And me.... I value each one of them. I'm so thankful for my children.
Friday, November 26, 2010
A November of Thankfulness... day twenty-five
There are so many reasons to give thanks. Just the simple exercise of counting your blessings really can be very humbling to someone who's just "not feeling it" today. Some days I just get in a funk and I'm okay with just mentally coasting, and truthfully, I really don't want to be all warm and fuzzy with God or anyone. These are usually the days when I'm hurting or just not feeling very good over all. That's the real reason you are missing days 23 and 24.... I just didn't feel like lying to you or crying on your shoulder. I wasn't all grumpy and miserable, I just was not in the mood.
One reason to give thanks is that giving thanks turns the negative into positive. It reminds us that it really could be worse, no matter how awful the situation is that we're in.... and I'm not talking starving children in Africa, bad.... I'm talking next door neighbor bad or co-worker bad. We all know someone who's dealing with much more than we are. When we really think about all we are blessed with, we cannot help but be filled with gratitude and positive thoughts. Positive thoughts lead to positive attitudes.
Another reason to give thanks is to walk the talk. I'm a parent and a role model to my children. Rodney and I are training our children to be productive, capable, loving, God-fearing, caring people who can one day live independent from us and be successful in all areas of their lives. They cannot do this if we say one thing and do another. As a mom, I can only play the "do as I say, not as I do card" when it really doesn't matter... like when double dipping or taking a swig out of the OJ carton. It doesn't work at all. And when I'm gone from the room, I fully expect them to double dip. Why wouldn't I? I'm not a fool. Actions and attitudes are 100s of times more powerful than words. Words are meaningless without action or with poor attitude. (another reason I didn't want to write empty words for you days 23-24... meaningless). In our home we often share our gratitudes with each other and celebrate them together.
The greatest reason to give thanks is found in the second chapter of Ephesians. I follow Walt Muller's blog and he posted this today and nothing more. Verses 1-10... "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience - among whom we all all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
So I'm back on track and fully feeling thankful today for so many things besides the obvious. For people who love me. For being married to my best friend. For parents who didn't give me step-parents and step-brothers & sisters or half-brothers & sisters. For the best in-laws I could ever have. For health, wealth, abilities and resources. For Corn Bible Academy and it's faculty and supporters. For my church family. For good books and good blogs and great hair color. For internet shopping, chocolate and instant heat sources.... the fireplace or space heaters. For Bose Sounddocks and iPods, Blackberries and caller id. Christmas lights, puzzles, Ticket to Ride and good fitting jeans. I could fill the page with the little stuff I enjoy thoroughly... I think you get the idea.
One reason to give thanks is that giving thanks turns the negative into positive. It reminds us that it really could be worse, no matter how awful the situation is that we're in.... and I'm not talking starving children in Africa, bad.... I'm talking next door neighbor bad or co-worker bad. We all know someone who's dealing with much more than we are. When we really think about all we are blessed with, we cannot help but be filled with gratitude and positive thoughts. Positive thoughts lead to positive attitudes.
Another reason to give thanks is to walk the talk. I'm a parent and a role model to my children. Rodney and I are training our children to be productive, capable, loving, God-fearing, caring people who can one day live independent from us and be successful in all areas of their lives. They cannot do this if we say one thing and do another. As a mom, I can only play the "do as I say, not as I do card" when it really doesn't matter... like when double dipping or taking a swig out of the OJ carton. It doesn't work at all. And when I'm gone from the room, I fully expect them to double dip. Why wouldn't I? I'm not a fool. Actions and attitudes are 100s of times more powerful than words. Words are meaningless without action or with poor attitude. (another reason I didn't want to write empty words for you days 23-24... meaningless). In our home we often share our gratitudes with each other and celebrate them together.
The greatest reason to give thanks is found in the second chapter of Ephesians. I follow Walt Muller's blog and he posted this today and nothing more. Verses 1-10... "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience - among whom we all all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
So I'm back on track and fully feeling thankful today for so many things besides the obvious. For people who love me. For being married to my best friend. For parents who didn't give me step-parents and step-brothers & sisters or half-brothers & sisters. For the best in-laws I could ever have. For health, wealth, abilities and resources. For Corn Bible Academy and it's faculty and supporters. For my church family. For good books and good blogs and great hair color. For internet shopping, chocolate and instant heat sources.... the fireplace or space heaters. For Bose Sounddocks and iPods, Blackberries and caller id. Christmas lights, puzzles, Ticket to Ride and good fitting jeans. I could fill the page with the little stuff I enjoy thoroughly... I think you get the idea.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day twenty-two
My thankful listmania today....
skills I've acquired over the years... This morning I set up Aunt Linda's computer and made internet connections with it. I also gave her a crash course on how to take pictures with her new digital camera she received upon her recent retirement. Later, at home, I used my drill and fixed the drawer slides that fell inside the cabinet and screwed them back into perfect level and working position. Reg would be proud.
Rodney's girlfriends at the fuel pump... Let me set the scene- we just stopped by the grocery store and then went home. I forgot a block of cream cheese, so I asked Rodney if he'd go back and get it while I started supper. He happily went. Fast forward to bedtime... we're laying there just after we turned the lights out and we start talking about tomorrow. I ask him if he's taking Regan to honor choir in the morning or if I need to. He told me that I would have to make that trip. I asked him if he would be in his pickup or would it be here in the yard. He said that it's in the barn. I thought, great.... and told him that mine needed fuel but that I'd get around and get it in the morning before I left. He said that he was already about 4 hours in front of me. I said, "When did you do that?... Oh, when you went back to the store. I thought it took you awhile." He said, "Did you think I went to see my girlfriend?" (We occasionally tease each other about fictional girl/boyfriends.) I replied, "She must like quickies." He quipped right back, "With your vehicle, it doesn't have to be quick." At this, I roar with laughter. This really is funny because it could be true... my vehicle has a 44 gallon tank and Jim's fuel pumps are unhurried, sluggish, slothful.... i.e. very slow and my tank was barren. Seriously though, I'm thankful it that my husband takes care of those little things like the fuel tank on my vehicle when he can and that I can do it myself when he can't.
Thanksgiving Break- Regan is on break all week which means I don't have to get her to school everyday and I don't have to make sure she is up and getting ready before the sun and the rest of the world everyday this week! Yea!
skills I've acquired over the years... This morning I set up Aunt Linda's computer and made internet connections with it. I also gave her a crash course on how to take pictures with her new digital camera she received upon her recent retirement. Later, at home, I used my drill and fixed the drawer slides that fell inside the cabinet and screwed them back into perfect level and working position. Reg would be proud.mamas with cameras who snap pictures and video of my kids' ball teams and then post the goods on facebook for me to see (and share). Tonight a shout out to Dian! Thanks! ...doesn't matter if it was intentional or not, I'm still thankful.
Christmas tree lights. Even on a bare tree Christmas lights make me feel nostalgic. I was able to remedy the unlit branches on my pre-lit tree tonight with not too much irritation. I think we're finally ready to decorate it and the rest of the house this week. The girls are ready. I think I finally am, too.
my father-in-law. He raised boys who are amazing husbands and fathers today. They know how to work hard, earn a fair wage, think on their feet and speak their mind. They are respectable, resourceful and praiseworthy men today. I speak for myself and for Kasey... we talked about this very thing just recently. Upright and disciplined training doesn't just happen, and we are forever grateful. Happy birthday today, Barton.
Monday, November 22, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day twenty-one
As I sit here, Sunday evening, thinking about my day and what I'm thankful for, I really just want to rant about what drives me crazy. Don't get me wrong... lots of good things happened today. For instance...
... it was another beautiful November day in Oklahoma with the temperature hovering around 70 degrees.
... Rodney and I sang with Annie on praise team today at church -just like old times.
... we completed our responsibilities of the Christmas decorating at the church with an awesome handpicked group of helpers. We put up eight Christmas trees and trimmed five of them with ornaments. I'm thankful that I let the others work and didn't feel the need to "fix" what they contributed. The perfectionist in me is very tired and it feels good to just let it be sometimes. It really does look fabulous. No complaints here. The guys set up the huge nativity scene and carried the boxes to and from the attic. Many hands make light work.
... we laughed and ate and played the train game (Ticket to Ride) tonight with P & K.
... I was able to visit with friends at church this morning that I've really missed lately. Not being around on Wednesday evenings really takes me out of the loop. I don't regret it though. I miss the people, but I'm enjoying the break from the leadership position... I don't miss leading them.
After expressing all the gratitude, the irritable seems more tolerable when during my brainstorming about this writing exercise tonight, I was thinking how trivial the praises for today were. I completely took them for granted, but how frustated I would have been if there been snags in the weather or the decorating.
I am just so thankful that there is more to my life and my faith than going to church on Sunday mornings. My God goes with me everywhere, everyday. (So does yours regardless if you choose to acknowledge him or not.) Grace was a word being thrown around a lot this morning in church. I'm so thankful for God's grace, but I'm not very good at extending it sometimes. I just pray that I don't project an air of self-rightousness especially when I'm pitying the shallow or the narrow-minded or the inward focused or the selfish people in my life. I just believe with all my being that Jesus had more in store for us than what we allow for in our lives, me included.
... it was another beautiful November day in Oklahoma with the temperature hovering around 70 degrees.
... Rodney and I sang with Annie on praise team today at church -just like old times.
... we completed our responsibilities of the Christmas decorating at the church with an awesome handpicked group of helpers. We put up eight Christmas trees and trimmed five of them with ornaments. I'm thankful that I let the others work and didn't feel the need to "fix" what they contributed. The perfectionist in me is very tired and it feels good to just let it be sometimes. It really does look fabulous. No complaints here. The guys set up the huge nativity scene and carried the boxes to and from the attic. Many hands make light work.
... we laughed and ate and played the train game (Ticket to Ride) tonight with P & K.
... I was able to visit with friends at church this morning that I've really missed lately. Not being around on Wednesday evenings really takes me out of the loop. I don't regret it though. I miss the people, but I'm enjoying the break from the leadership position... I don't miss leading them.
After expressing all the gratitude, the irritable seems more tolerable when during my brainstorming about this writing exercise tonight, I was thinking how trivial the praises for today were. I completely took them for granted, but how frustated I would have been if there been snags in the weather or the decorating.
I am just so thankful that there is more to my life and my faith than going to church on Sunday mornings. My God goes with me everywhere, everyday. (So does yours regardless if you choose to acknowledge him or not.) Grace was a word being thrown around a lot this morning in church. I'm so thankful for God's grace, but I'm not very good at extending it sometimes. I just pray that I don't project an air of self-rightousness especially when I'm pitying the shallow or the narrow-minded or the inward focused or the selfish people in my life. I just believe with all my being that Jesus had more in store for us than what we allow for in our lives, me included.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day twenty
We accomplished much here at the house today. Today has been a good day.
I'm so thankful for...
I'm so thankful for...
... getting to sleep in with my hubby today.
... making a decision on our Thanksgiving holiday plans. We are staying home and not traveling to Iowa despite the urgency to spend another holiday with my grandmother. She battles cancer and her prognosis isn't encouraging. Despite that fact, we know we really need this week at home for our family... it's what's best for us.... hopefully we can make a trip soon. And this decision leads into the next item. So...
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| Rosalind Clause working on the lights- on the roof |
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| my Christmas light elves... Rodney, Regan and Rayne |
... Rodney and the girls spent the whole day putting Christmas lights up on the house. I worked in the storage shed and tidied it up. It was a disaster. In doing that I got the rest of the little girls' winter clothes out and they got them put away! All in the same day- it's a miracle.
... not having to do my shopping on the weekends. Wal-mart was a ZOO today. Yes, I still HATE Wal-mart, but what do you do? I haven't been there in a couple of months, and would be happy as a lark if I never had to go back. (they didn't have what I needed anyway, imagine that!)
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| the overflow |
... dirty dishes on the counter because the dishwasher is too full to hold them all. That means one of two things: 1. we've been extremely busy and they've piled up or 2. we had supper guests and it just wouldn't all fit. The 2s have it! We treated mom and dad and Aunt Linda to some more Maynard... thick cut chops on the grill with all the trimmings. It was wonderful despite how tired I was feeling from a busy day. At one point I decided I was crazy to make these supper plans on the tail of a busy day, but I'm glad I did. If we don't ever do it, it never happens.
... facebook. Seriously. I've made friendships with people that I never would have met. I've made friendships with people I never dreamed had similar interests or experiences as me. I've been able to keep in touch will all my loved ones all over the states, even the world. This gypsy girl has been able to get re-acquainted with friends that I've lost touch with over the years. I've been able to get to know extended family members much easier than just seeing them for a couple of hours once or twice a year. I've been able to share friends' joys and sorrows with them daily. I'm able to actually LOL (laugh out loud) at all the silly predicaments my friends find themselves in. I'm able to share this blog with all those who are enjoying it today. All your comments and encouragement have been very humbling and such a blessing to me. Thank you.
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| our house tonight, yes... November 20, 2010 |
Friday, November 19, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day nineteen
A dear friend of mine once told me one of the things she absolutely loved about me was that whenever she popped in my back door, usually unannounced, that I would drop whatever I was doing and focus my time and attention on her. She also knew that I did that for my husband, too... if he would call and "invite" me to ride along with him to do various tasks (haul cattle, haul rock in the semi, check cattle, parts run, etc) I would usually drop whatever it is that I'm doing and go... unless I just could not go because of timing or a deadline, which I hate. Well, my friend is half way around the world, and I miss her spontaneous visits... :(, but I do still drop my plans for my husband. Twice this week I've gone in the semi with Rodney hauling rock from the rock crusher to an oilfield rig location. Mom called me today and asked what I was doing.... I told her. She said, "You're riding with him in that junky brown truck?!" She can say that... it's hers. (Dad's) lol. Yes. What I do for love... right. Actually it thrills me that he likes my company this much, and I want to spend every moment I can with him. No regrets down the road. I don't think I'll ever regret that I didn't stay home and finish the laundry or do the dishes, but I would if I turned down spending precious time with my husband, my best friend.
I'm thankful for my bff here (Rodney) and my friend half way around the world in Hong Kong... whom I miss dearly. I love you both dearly.
I'm thankful for my bff here (Rodney) and my friend half way around the world in Hong Kong... whom I miss dearly. I love you both dearly.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A November of thankfulness... days sixteen-eighteen
Everything I've been thinking about the last couple of days begins with the letter F as in.....
... family. Twice this morning I've been almost moved to tears by the feelings (another F word) of two children in my family. Regan shared with me the meaning to her of having her Grandma and Grandpa show their support of her by attending her various activities. She clarified that it was different than when Memaw and Pop attended. We talked about the differences and decided that Memaw and Pop used words all the time to show their love and support in addition to their occasional attendance, where Grandma and Grandpa have always been infrequent with their words of love and support and in their attendance. The feeling is there all the same- it's just the personalities are so different. She was just glowing when she was recalling the fall concert and looking for Pop and Memaw in the crowd and finding Grandma and Grandpa. I about couldn't hold it all together. Thanks Mom and Dad. The second time I was almost moved to tears this morning was when I had a conversation with Mallory's mom about her 13th birthday coming up in January. These girls... they start talking about their next birthdays just a couple months after the last one! She said that Mallory had really been wanting to come to Oklahoma and take all her cousins to Pops on Rt. 66, but had recently decided that she wanted...... a family reunion for her birthday. Not a slumber party or a spa day or any other awesome party theme of late, but a family reunion. That speaks volumes to me as the importance family means to her. It's awesome, just awesome and I'm so thankful.
... friends. One of my dearest friends invited Rodney and me to a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert for my birthday this year! Three wins here.... an evening out with my husband, excellent company and conversationalists with our friends, and getting to see the amazing Trans Siberian show. Yippee! So very thankful for Galen and Dixie.
... future sister-in-law. I spent yesterday in OKC with Kasey. We were wedding dress shopping with intentions to just look and see what's available. As matron-of-honor, I did my dress duty as I dressed her and undressed her maybe 40 times! The corset dresses were the worst! As the day went on, excitement started to build... I guess we were slow to warm up to the whole dress shopping thing.... but by at the end of the day, we found the one. The one! She started to go ahead and order it, but I advised her to sleep on it and make sure- she has plenty of time for a July wedding. What a day of fun and sharing... getting to spend much time together is rare for us. We spent lupper (lunch/supper) (at the Cheesecake Factory, btw) talking about the past 20 years of our friendship and our personal trials and our celebrations. I'm so thankful she's part of my family now.
... fish oil. Fish oil??? Yes, fish oil. I started taking it this week and my arthritis pain is minimal... all but absent. Hallelujah! Singing a thousand praises of thankfulness!
... Fellenstien. As in Coach Fellenstien. Regan forgot her basketball shoes at home yesterday, and Coach chewed her butt! He told her that he was expecting her to step up and lead this team and she's already missed one game this year because of a late homework assignment (I benched her) and now she is on the bench during practice (because of no shoes) and she wasn't going to start tomorrow's game because of it. I could almost see the color draining out of Regan's face when she was telling me this story. She said she almost cried. How did I console her? I said, "A-MEN!" with a chuckle. She looked and me and then she started to laugh, too. I think she needed to hear from someone else how important all the little things are when they really don't seem to be important at the moment in the life of an eighth grader... a late assignment here, forgotten jersey there.... it all matters. Thank you, Coach Fellenstien.
... family. Twice this morning I've been almost moved to tears by the feelings (another F word) of two children in my family. Regan shared with me the meaning to her of having her Grandma and Grandpa show their support of her by attending her various activities. She clarified that it was different than when Memaw and Pop attended. We talked about the differences and decided that Memaw and Pop used words all the time to show their love and support in addition to their occasional attendance, where Grandma and Grandpa have always been infrequent with their words of love and support and in their attendance. The feeling is there all the same- it's just the personalities are so different. She was just glowing when she was recalling the fall concert and looking for Pop and Memaw in the crowd and finding Grandma and Grandpa. I about couldn't hold it all together. Thanks Mom and Dad. The second time I was almost moved to tears this morning was when I had a conversation with Mallory's mom about her 13th birthday coming up in January. These girls... they start talking about their next birthdays just a couple months after the last one! She said that Mallory had really been wanting to come to Oklahoma and take all her cousins to Pops on Rt. 66, but had recently decided that she wanted...... a family reunion for her birthday. Not a slumber party or a spa day or any other awesome party theme of late, but a family reunion. That speaks volumes to me as the importance family means to her. It's awesome, just awesome and I'm so thankful.
... friends. One of my dearest friends invited Rodney and me to a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert for my birthday this year! Three wins here.... an evening out with my husband, excellent company and conversationalists with our friends, and getting to see the amazing Trans Siberian show. Yippee! So very thankful for Galen and Dixie.
... future sister-in-law. I spent yesterday in OKC with Kasey. We were wedding dress shopping with intentions to just look and see what's available. As matron-of-honor, I did my dress duty as I dressed her and undressed her maybe 40 times! The corset dresses were the worst! As the day went on, excitement started to build... I guess we were slow to warm up to the whole dress shopping thing.... but by at the end of the day, we found the one. The one! She started to go ahead and order it, but I advised her to sleep on it and make sure- she has plenty of time for a July wedding. What a day of fun and sharing... getting to spend much time together is rare for us. We spent lupper (lunch/supper) (at the Cheesecake Factory, btw) talking about the past 20 years of our friendship and our personal trials and our celebrations. I'm so thankful she's part of my family now.
... fish oil. Fish oil??? Yes, fish oil. I started taking it this week and my arthritis pain is minimal... all but absent. Hallelujah! Singing a thousand praises of thankfulness!
... Fellenstien. As in Coach Fellenstien. Regan forgot her basketball shoes at home yesterday, and Coach chewed her butt! He told her that he was expecting her to step up and lead this team and she's already missed one game this year because of a late homework assignment (I benched her) and now she is on the bench during practice (because of no shoes) and she wasn't going to start tomorrow's game because of it. I could almost see the color draining out of Regan's face when she was telling me this story. She said she almost cried. How did I console her? I said, "A-MEN!" with a chuckle. She looked and me and then she started to laugh, too. I think she needed to hear from someone else how important all the little things are when they really don't seem to be important at the moment in the life of an eighth grader... a late assignment here, forgotten jersey there.... it all matters. Thank you, Coach Fellenstien.
Monday, November 15, 2010
a November of thankfulness... day fifteen
I am thankful that I still have the abiltiy to be spontaneous enough to shock the pants off Rodney and my girls.... Saturday I made vegetable soup and put green beans in it. You see, I hate green beans and I don't cook with them... ever. It was pretty funny to listen to the soup drama play out here one by one as each family member dipped his/her own soup at varying times. It was truly musical listening to their delight and disbelief.
I'm thankful for times in the car- just Regan and me. Tonight she shared her hurts and her wins with me. She made me laugh until my ribs hurt with her "win" stories. I have to share one of the win stories with you... a girlfriend was noticing Regan was deep in thought- it was about something that has affected her recently. She asked Regan about it and Regan told her that she was reflecting on something someone had told her. After telling her story, Regan asked her if she knew who told her that... her friend said that she didn't. Regan said, "My mom told me that last year." Her friend said, "Wow! She's pretty smart." Without a missing a beat Regan said, "Yeah, your mom is, too, if you'd just listen to her." Exit mad friend. Hours later the friend asked Regan if she was serious about what she said earlier [about the friend and friend's mom]. Regan said yes she was and started to gently tell her friend about her relationship with her mom and how it could be much better if she'd listen to her mom and gave her specific examples of what she knew about their relationship. Her friend protested that Regan didn't listen to her mom and Regan said... (you're gonna love this)... "I have been this year and I like her a lot better this year." She had me in stitches. But the best part is that it's true. She has been listening and I like her much better, too.
I'm thankful for times in the car- just Regan and me. Tonight she shared her hurts and her wins with me. She made me laugh until my ribs hurt with her "win" stories. I have to share one of the win stories with you... a girlfriend was noticing Regan was deep in thought- it was about something that has affected her recently. She asked Regan about it and Regan told her that she was reflecting on something someone had told her. After telling her story, Regan asked her if she knew who told her that... her friend said that she didn't. Regan said, "My mom told me that last year." Her friend said, "Wow! She's pretty smart." Without a missing a beat Regan said, "Yeah, your mom is, too, if you'd just listen to her." Exit mad friend. Hours later the friend asked Regan if she was serious about what she said earlier [about the friend and friend's mom]. Regan said yes she was and started to gently tell her friend about her relationship with her mom and how it could be much better if she'd listen to her mom and gave her specific examples of what she knew about their relationship. Her friend protested that Regan didn't listen to her mom and Regan said... (you're gonna love this)... "I have been this year and I like her a lot better this year." She had me in stitches. But the best part is that it's true. She has been listening and I like her much better, too.
A November of thankfulness... day fourteen
Today was semi-productive around our house. Rodney and I carried the Christmas tree out of the shed and into the house. I left it up last year because I had room in my storage shed to leave it put together. This week I'll fluff the branches and adjust the lights so we can decorate it later this week. We, meaning everyone, picked at the housework a nibble at a time today, too. Tomorrow I've got to get it finished and get my house back. My floors haven't been swept in a month- since I hosted my bunco group in October... and I need to catch up on the laundry again. The bathroom could use a scrubbing, too. We had a few extra kids around but hardly noticed because they were so well behaved.... made them work, too. Hey, we fed them, didn't we? Lol. Twice, actually.
I'm thankful for getting stuff done and well behaved children... mine and other people's.
Today I heard about a terrible accident that injured 6 and killed 5 motorcyclists in Southern California yesterday. Senseless, actually. I mention this because two of those killed were directly related to Bert, a man [a good man] Rodney and I have worked with for years at the elevator. One was his daughter and another was her husband. They've left behind two boys... orphans now. Amy was two years younger than me in school. It just breaks my heart and scares me a little. It doesn't matter how safe you are, you still have to factor in the other guy on the road. My family has started riding motorcycles in recent years. I know we are safe drivers, but it still freezes my blood for an instant every time we take out for the ride to think about the what ifs and possible danger and tragedy that could happen during this ride, this day.
I'm thankful for the safety my family has experienced on the roads during our past motorcycle rides while my heart is extremely heavy for Bert and the rest of his family.
Rodney and I have talked about this before. We try to live our lives in such a way that if something were to happen to us today that there would be no "unfinished business". Those who we love immensely... they know it. We live it each day. Our friends who are closest to us... they know the joy we feel when we spend a moment with them.... be it a brief conversation or an entire day. We live with no regrets. No secrets. No unfinished business. The words that would flow from me on my deathbed, if given the chance, would be nothing new to my loved ones. That's the way it should be, I believe. Live in the present. Use your good dishes. Laugh a lot. Wear your red dress. Be content with yourself. Appreciate each day and learn to love unconditionally. That's all there is... all that really matters... besides the obvious... Jesus.
Today I am thankful for unconditional love, contentment, and peace that passes all understanding.
I'm thankful for getting stuff done and well behaved children... mine and other people's.
Today I heard about a terrible accident that injured 6 and killed 5 motorcyclists in Southern California yesterday. Senseless, actually. I mention this because two of those killed were directly related to Bert, a man [a good man] Rodney and I have worked with for years at the elevator. One was his daughter and another was her husband. They've left behind two boys... orphans now. Amy was two years younger than me in school. It just breaks my heart and scares me a little. It doesn't matter how safe you are, you still have to factor in the other guy on the road. My family has started riding motorcycles in recent years. I know we are safe drivers, but it still freezes my blood for an instant every time we take out for the ride to think about the what ifs and possible danger and tragedy that could happen during this ride, this day.
I'm thankful for the safety my family has experienced on the roads during our past motorcycle rides while my heart is extremely heavy for Bert and the rest of his family.
Rodney and I have talked about this before. We try to live our lives in such a way that if something were to happen to us today that there would be no "unfinished business". Those who we love immensely... they know it. We live it each day. Our friends who are closest to us... they know the joy we feel when we spend a moment with them.... be it a brief conversation or an entire day. We live with no regrets. No secrets. No unfinished business. The words that would flow from me on my deathbed, if given the chance, would be nothing new to my loved ones. That's the way it should be, I believe. Live in the present. Use your good dishes. Laugh a lot. Wear your red dress. Be content with yourself. Appreciate each day and learn to love unconditionally. That's all there is... all that really matters... besides the obvious... Jesus.
Today I am thankful for unconditional love, contentment, and peace that passes all understanding.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
A November of thankfulness... days twelve and thirteen
After a couple of really busy weeks for both Rodney and me, it's been really nice to get to be together the past 36 hours. I've missed him.
Rodney needed some new work clothes, so we went to town and accomplished some Christmas shopping while we were at it. Last night we spent the night with Kathryn, one of my oldest friends. I slept in Paige's bed... just like old times, only instead of Paige in the other room sleeping with her mama, now she's sleeping in her own bed away at college. Time flies.
Julie, another one of us, came too, and the three of us (along with our husbands- Rodney, Chad and Chad. Yes, seriously.) spent an evening out together eating fried chicken and listening to a great southern rock band. We laughed and laughed and laughed... remembered lots of good times and made more. It was tons of fun and I'm glad we made the time to do it.
Rodney and I got home about noon and lounged around all afternoon until the girls came home from shopping and dining with Aunt Jane. They were so excited about the Christmas presents they bought for me that they just couldn't wait and begged me to open them... all very lovely Christmas ornaments- a couple of birds from Rayne, an acorn from Rozzie, and a fall-like leaf from Regan. Jane gives them $xx.xx and takes them shopping each year for their birthdays and for Christmas. She tries to let them spend their money however they wish... I try to encourage them to spend it wisely before they leave for this trip. Overall, they do really well with their purchases. When the girls returned we caught pieces of a couple movies together and basically did a whole lot of nothing. Rare and priceless.
So in a nutshell I'm thankful today for...
... time with my husband.
... getting a few Christmas gifts purchased.
... time with my friends.
... time with my girls.
... Jane spending most of the day with the girls.
... my thoughtful children. The ornaments the girls chose to spend their money on are as unique as they are beautiful. And I'm honored that the girls thought of me.
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| Leaf ornament from Regan |
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| Acorn ornament from Rosalind |
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| Bird ornaments from Rayne |
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day eleven, Veteran's Day
I am so amazed at the ease of having something to say for this blog everyday. Actually I feel like I'm really working hard to keep it a short, yet meaningful read.
Today being Veteran's Day brings forth a whole new set of feelings of thankfulness but also a serious frustration at how we treat them. It's almost like Mother's Day or Father's Day for me... those are two of my least favorite days of the year for some reason, and if I had a veteran or a soldier close to me, I would loathe Veteran's Day, too. The gratitude and appreciation we have (or should have and show) for these people-vets, soldiers, and parents- should not need a day set aside for them. It should be a daily way of life. Just like worship and time with the Lord shouldn't be set aside for Sunday mornings in a church building. You're probably thinking I don't like being told what to do or I don't like to conform, but really what gripes me is that those who make such a big deal about these days are the worst offenders of disrespect (non-respect) every other day of the year. Veteran's Day just makes me sad to think of the treatment of these men and women who serve/served our country in the military receive from our countrymen and our government. It's just not enough. And all the token words (forcefully, because after all, we've set a day aside for this) given one time a year are empty and worthless.
All that being said, I am very thankful for the soldiers and veterans... regardless of how I feel about war and our government's involvment in it. I just feel helpless when I see and read about the struggles they are going through.
Today, I am also thankful for...
... the rain pounding my window waking me up this morning. Music to my ears. I hope the weatherman is correct and more comes tomorrow.
Today being Veteran's Day brings forth a whole new set of feelings of thankfulness but also a serious frustration at how we treat them. It's almost like Mother's Day or Father's Day for me... those are two of my least favorite days of the year for some reason, and if I had a veteran or a soldier close to me, I would loathe Veteran's Day, too. The gratitude and appreciation we have (or should have and show) for these people-vets, soldiers, and parents- should not need a day set aside for them. It should be a daily way of life. Just like worship and time with the Lord shouldn't be set aside for Sunday mornings in a church building. You're probably thinking I don't like being told what to do or I don't like to conform, but really what gripes me is that those who make such a big deal about these days are the worst offenders of disrespect (non-respect) every other day of the year. Veteran's Day just makes me sad to think of the treatment of these men and women who serve/served our country in the military receive from our countrymen and our government. It's just not enough. And all the token words (forcefully, because after all, we've set a day aside for this) given one time a year are empty and worthless.
All that being said, I am very thankful for the soldiers and veterans... regardless of how I feel about war and our government's involvment in it. I just feel helpless when I see and read about the struggles they are going through.
Today, I am also thankful for...
... the rain pounding my window waking me up this morning. Music to my ears. I hope the weatherman is correct and more comes tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day ten
I keep thinking that I will run out of "ideas" for this thankfulness journey, but not so. Everyday is loaded with gems. Today, I am grateful for...
... being able to coast. I didn't accomplish much of anything today. My brain has been kicked into neutral all afternoon. I think I'm just extremely tired. I didn't even have the umph to go to the grocery store while in town today. I told myself I'd go tomorrow.
... impromptu lunch dates with my husband. I met him at Lucille's Diner after the lunch rush, and it didn't even cost him any down time with his work. When he got back to the crusher, he found out that he would have just been sitting in line waiting instead of dining with me. It's all good.
... my mom. Especially when we're on the same page.
... Awana. I am sold out on Awana. I believe in it. I support it. It is a good good thing. I'm thankful for Marie and the leaders who make our local Awana program thrive. I'm thankful for Paula and James and their leadership to our state. The weight of the responsibility that comes with being an Awana leader is overwhelming at times. I'm so thankful for those who step up to the challenge.
... being able to coast. I didn't accomplish much of anything today. My brain has been kicked into neutral all afternoon. I think I'm just extremely tired. I didn't even have the umph to go to the grocery store while in town today. I told myself I'd go tomorrow.
... impromptu lunch dates with my husband. I met him at Lucille's Diner after the lunch rush, and it didn't even cost him any down time with his work. When he got back to the crusher, he found out that he would have just been sitting in line waiting instead of dining with me. It's all good.
... my family. I know I keep going back to them, but I am beyond blessed by each girl and boy who live in my house. I won't bore you with the details.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day nine
So thankful for...
... something to look forward to. We have plans to get together with a couple of my girlfriends (and their husbands) from high school this weekend. It's been a long time.
... my husband. This morning he took my rig and filled it with fuel so I wouldn't have to before I took Regan and Trevor to school. And I didn't even ask him to... he's the best.
... hard lessons. Yesterday was hard on Regan, my 13 year old. We've been battling late homework assignments with her for 2 1/2 semesters now and I finally declared, "enough is enough" and mandated the rule one late paper = one missed basketball game. She was on the bench last night for the first and probably last time. I think we finally got somewhere. Her mood was good when she got home last night, but she admitted that sitting in her street clothes on the bench was painful and not worth it. I don't look for anymore late homework assignments from her anytime soon. *Win for everyone!! Yea!
... my bunco girls. We are a unique group, I think. A great mix of ages, personalities, and backgrounds. Truly great women.
... something to look forward to. We have plans to get together with a couple of my girlfriends (and their husbands) from high school this weekend. It's been a long time.
... my husband. This morning he took my rig and filled it with fuel so I wouldn't have to before I took Regan and Trevor to school. And I didn't even ask him to... he's the best.
... finishing big jobs. Today I finished a job that began feeling like it was never going to end. The living room had 11 layers of wallpaper and the bedrooms 7 layers... scraped, sealed, prepped, textured, primed, painted, trimmed, touched up, cleaned up, loaded up... it began feeling like eternity. As of today I'm unemployed... until next week.
Monday, November 8, 2010
A November of thankfulness... days six - eight
Being gone over the weekend and having no access to the web makes for my belated showing of gratitude. It's amazing how when knowing this is coming at the end of the day, it really makes me think throughout the day about all the little things that I truly am thankful for.
I've been thinking how thankful I am for
... puzzles and someone to do them with me.
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| me and a few of my friends |
... toothbrushes, and for Rozzie sharing hers with me Friday night.
... Christmas music. The classic Christmas music (Burl Ives, Dean Martin, etc) really is sentimental to me and the contemporary Christian Christmas music I find way more worshipful than regular praise music. It reduces me to tears much of the time.
... campfires. I could spend hours and hours and hours around a fire... especially if the company was good (and the wind was down). It was very, very, very good company this weekend. Sharing with friends who have similar values and common goals is priceless... and a rare treat.
... homemade chili. The stuff out of a can gives me heartburn in about 5 minutes.
... Corn Bible Academy. It has been a breath of fresh air to our family. It's not perfect, but it's amazing.
... my resource web. Thankful for dad's shower before we left and Aunt Linda for feeding my kitties while we were gone.
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| A few of my kitties sleeping on the porch |
Friday, November 5, 2010
A November of thankfulness... days four and five
It was 11:30 pm last night when I was going to bed, and I just didn't have the umpht to write despite how grateful I was all day.
My thankful list for days 4 and 5:
... that beloved web I was talking about yesterday... my mom cooked and fed my family supper while I worked late. Huge help to me. Thanks, mom.
... good people to work for. Since going out on my own in the paint/texture business, I've worked for really good people and have more of them in line for the rest of this month. They are so appreciative and friendly. They are blessings. I hope it remains this way.
... so Regan (13 yrs old) tells me, "I've found out what when....." blah, blah, blah... basically saying "you were right, mom" without actually saying it. I'll take that as a win. *grin*
... my mother-in-law, Karen. I have to mention her again... today's her birthday. She's the absolute best mother-in-law anyone could ever, in a zillion years, ask for... I love her dearly.
My thankful list for days 4 and 5:
... a decent night's sleep despite sleeping alone.
... that my heart still skips a beat when I see my husband. I met him on the road unexpectedly yesterday after he got home from his Ag Expo.
... that beloved web I was talking about yesterday... my mom cooked and fed my family supper while I worked late. Huge help to me. Thanks, mom.
... good people to work for. Since going out on my own in the paint/texture business, I've worked for really good people and have more of them in line for the rest of this month. They are so appreciative and friendly. They are blessings. I hope it remains this way.
... so Regan (13 yrs old) tells me, "I've found out what when....." blah, blah, blah... basically saying "you were right, mom" without actually saying it. I'll take that as a win. *grin*
... that we're not taking my car for the weekend trip. It's a sty. We're taking Rod's because we are pulling a huge trailer for the hayride. Thankful that Nada's taking all our stuff that won't fit in the truck.
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| my mother-in-law |
... my day was cut shorter than I thought at work. They wanted me to finish up what I was working on and have the rest wait until Monday... basically just get out of their way for the weekend. I'm good with that!
... patience. They say to never pray for patience, you'll regret it. I didn't pray for it, but I have been tested over the past couple of days- 6 or 7 small instances. I think I passed with flying colors... no bad words or irritable attitude to adjust. Maybe, just maybe, I'm growing up. A little.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day three
I am thankful today for...
...having lots of resources. For instance, I had a cat that needed to get to the vet. My mother in law was going so she took it and dropped it off. My friend Melissa was coming back, so she picked it up and brought it home. (Then it caught the Gossen/Wherritt syndrome and died, and I haven't even paid the $92 bill yet. Sigh. [unrelated causes, long story]) Anyway, back to my gratitude before I get too side tracked and all surly. I am thankful for the people in my life that help out when asked (I'm not afraid to ask... I think that's a gift. Seriously.) Over the years it's been my mother in law who has time and again come to my aid. She's selfless like that...a precious woman. In recent years, lots and lots of my family and Rodney's family have moved to my community and I have spread the "love" around more equally. I am so very thankful for this web of beloved people in my life. This includes my dear friends, too.
...me and Rodney putting in the hard work of training our children to be people that I actually like to be with. (I know- I just ended that sentence with a preposition... sue me.) My girls are so funny and confident, yet sensitive. They are thinkers and aren't afraid to ask stupid questions. They are leaders and communicators. I am so proud and cherish each of them. I've missed them lately. We had a catch up session tonight after Awana and youth group.
...tomorrow being my day to drive the CBA kids to Weatherford. It forces me to get up and moving... I don't have a choice.
...Biofreeze and Casa Soto leftovers.
...having lots of resources. For instance, I had a cat that needed to get to the vet. My mother in law was going so she took it and dropped it off. My friend Melissa was coming back, so she picked it up and brought it home. (Then it caught the Gossen/Wherritt syndrome and died, and I haven't even paid the $92 bill yet. Sigh. [unrelated causes, long story]) Anyway, back to my gratitude before I get too side tracked and all surly. I am thankful for the people in my life that help out when asked (I'm not afraid to ask... I think that's a gift. Seriously.) Over the years it's been my mother in law who has time and again come to my aid. She's selfless like that...a precious woman. In recent years, lots and lots of my family and Rodney's family have moved to my community and I have spread the "love" around more equally. I am so very thankful for this web of beloved people in my life. This includes my dear friends, too.
...me and Rodney putting in the hard work of training our children to be people that I actually like to be with. (I know- I just ended that sentence with a preposition... sue me.) My girls are so funny and confident, yet sensitive. They are thinkers and aren't afraid to ask stupid questions. They are leaders and communicators. I am so proud and cherish each of them. I've missed them lately. We had a catch up session tonight after Awana and youth group.
...Biofreeze and Casa Soto leftovers.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day two
Keeping up with showing my gratitude... on day two, I am thankful for...
...summer. Today was a blustery day. I am not ready for the next 5-6 months of them. Sigh.
...work. My sore and stiff body did indeed limber up after a couple hours of work. Very thankful.
...my husband. I'm going to miss him tomorrow. Maybe I'll sleep in the recliner. (inside joke, sorry) He's going to get his CEU points for his custom applicator license at the Oklahoma Ag Expo in Oklahoma City tomorrow and Thursday. I love you, babe. Hurry home.
...my Regan feeling better today. We called it a sick day and she slept until noon. She's still stuffy-nosed, but rested.
...mom and dad having a couple of good things happen for them today. Blessings.
...people with an opinion and a backbone to share it. You are a breath of fresh air to me... even if I don't always agree with you.
...demoting Nancy Pelosi today. Enough said.
...summer. Today was a blustery day. I am not ready for the next 5-6 months of them. Sigh.
...work. My sore and stiff body did indeed limber up after a couple hours of work. Very thankful.
...my husband. I'm going to miss him tomorrow. Maybe I'll sleep in the recliner. (inside joke, sorry) He's going to get his CEU points for his custom applicator license at the Oklahoma Ag Expo in Oklahoma City tomorrow and Thursday. I love you, babe. Hurry home.
...my Regan feeling better today. We called it a sick day and she slept until noon. She's still stuffy-nosed, but rested.
...mom and dad having a couple of good things happen for them today. Blessings.
...people with an opinion and a backbone to share it. You are a breath of fresh air to me... even if I don't always agree with you.
...demoting Nancy Pelosi today. Enough said.
Monday, November 1, 2010
A November of thankfulness... day one
My friend, Margaret, is blogging “Thankful November” listing her gratitude from throughout her day. I’ve enjoyed it and decided to copy her. Thanks for the inspiration Margaret!
Today, November 1, 2010, I am thankful for …
…midmorning naps- even if they are on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. I’ve been working so much lately that this day of idleness is few and far between. I enjoy the paint and texture, etc. work, but not the pressure I put on myself to get in and get it done and get out. When you’re doing it as a “favor” the urgency to finish so quickly isn’t as great. I think I’ll go back to work tomorrow. All I did was lay around all day and hurt. At least when I’m working, I get loosened up and my arthritis works itself out… mostly.
…caller id on Election Day eve. Campaign calls were in the double digits today. (Not a good day for a nap.) But thankful for the democracy that I live in and the freedom to go to the polls tomorrow. And for the rural area in which I live=no poll lines or exit polls.
…cooking and eating together as a family and sharing lots of stories and laughs around the supper table. Also thankful for our guest, Aunt Linda, and her recent move to our town. We welcome her with open arms and pray that she settles in to her new home and community with ease. I drove up on her visiting with her neighbor this evening. This is a good thing.
…the health our family has had over the past year since going gluten free and mostly dairy free. I haven’t had a sick child in so long that our doctor probably doesn’t even know we still consider him our doctor anymore! But then Regan was feeling pretty puny tonight. If she doesn’t wake up much improved, we will call it a sick day tomorrow. Sigh. So much for our healthy streak. Oh well, we did dodge the swine flu last year when it was so close to home. However, I am ready for a freeze to knock the pollen down and let us get over the excess drainage.
…remembering that I’m the tooth fairy and I need to pay Rayne a visit tonight! And that she pulled it herself and I didn’t have to pay the dentist to do it for us!
Today, November 1, 2010, I am thankful for …
…midmorning naps- even if they are on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. I’ve been working so much lately that this day of idleness is few and far between. I enjoy the paint and texture, etc. work, but not the pressure I put on myself to get in and get it done and get out. When you’re doing it as a “favor” the urgency to finish so quickly isn’t as great. I think I’ll go back to work tomorrow. All I did was lay around all day and hurt. At least when I’m working, I get loosened up and my arthritis works itself out… mostly.
…caller id on Election Day eve. Campaign calls were in the double digits today. (Not a good day for a nap.) But thankful for the democracy that I live in and the freedom to go to the polls tomorrow. And for the rural area in which I live=no poll lines or exit polls.
…cooking and eating together as a family and sharing lots of stories and laughs around the supper table. Also thankful for our guest, Aunt Linda, and her recent move to our town. We welcome her with open arms and pray that she settles in to her new home and community with ease. I drove up on her visiting with her neighbor this evening. This is a good thing.
…the health our family has had over the past year since going gluten free and mostly dairy free. I haven’t had a sick child in so long that our doctor probably doesn’t even know we still consider him our doctor anymore! But then Regan was feeling pretty puny tonight. If she doesn’t wake up much improved, we will call it a sick day tomorrow. Sigh. So much for our healthy streak. Oh well, we did dodge the swine flu last year when it was so close to home. However, I am ready for a freeze to knock the pollen down and let us get over the excess drainage.
…remembering that I’m the tooth fairy and I need to pay Rayne a visit tonight! And that she pulled it herself and I didn’t have to pay the dentist to do it for us!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
A boy named Shad...
There once was a boy named Shad …whom I loved.
Recently, I’ve started doing some painting- fixing up old houses, and the place I was in last week was chock full of memories from my childhood. People and places I hadn’t given much thought to in years…. like 20 years or so. But Shad was a name that kept coming up by others in conversation and a face that kept coming to my mind. I had learned from the owner that the house I was painting had been last painted by Shad. During the week when I was patching some sheetrock, out of the blue a fellow worker at the house commented that he’d never met anyone as meticulous as Shad when it came to drywall. Mudding and sanding, mudding and sanding, mudding and sanding to perfection. I’m sure my patchwork paled in comparison to Shad’s attention to detail. I spent about 50 hours in that house and in those memories... sorting, analyzing, recalling things buried in my past.
Shad is a part of my past. He’s gone now… a self-inflicted gunshot wound. But I have always wondered how much different his life had been if he’d just gotten a lucky break once in awhile or if he didn’t always live out Murphy’s Law…. you know the one: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I wonder how different his life would have been if he’d been born into a situation with opportunity, resources, a support system, and self-confidence. Shad never knew his worth. Deep down, he always felt inferior. He was born to a single mom who did her best... I don’t condemn his mother at all.
From the time we were kids, I always wanted to rescue Shad. I wanted him to have what I had. I remember the times he would wake me up in the middle of the night, tapping on my window, and I’d let him in to sleep on my floor. I knew he'd be safe there. Or the times in school when I’d turn my body just so for him to copy my test answers. I didn’t want him to fail. He wasn’t stupid; he just didn’t think he could, so he didn’t try. Eventually, he got tired of my mothering, and he would just a soon pick a fight with me than to see my pity for him. He was so infectious with his snaggle-tooth smile (I was there when he broke his tooth off on armer Mel's pick up) and his personality that even when he’d push my buttons just enough for my pity to evaporate, soon we’d be pals again. I loved him very much and I was very afraid for him, too. I guess that was well-founded. Over the years we pretty much lost touch. I couldn’t help him. I didn’t have the power. Oh Shad, I want to wring your neck. It didn’t have to be this way, but I guess neither of us knew how to fix it. I count this as loss. Happy would-have-been-birthday, Shad.
Recently, I’ve started doing some painting- fixing up old houses, and the place I was in last week was chock full of memories from my childhood. People and places I hadn’t given much thought to in years…. like 20 years or so. But Shad was a name that kept coming up by others in conversation and a face that kept coming to my mind. I had learned from the owner that the house I was painting had been last painted by Shad. During the week when I was patching some sheetrock, out of the blue a fellow worker at the house commented that he’d never met anyone as meticulous as Shad when it came to drywall. Mudding and sanding, mudding and sanding, mudding and sanding to perfection. I’m sure my patchwork paled in comparison to Shad’s attention to detail. I spent about 50 hours in that house and in those memories... sorting, analyzing, recalling things buried in my past.
Shad is a part of my past. He’s gone now… a self-inflicted gunshot wound. But I have always wondered how much different his life had been if he’d just gotten a lucky break once in awhile or if he didn’t always live out Murphy’s Law…. you know the one: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I wonder how different his life would have been if he’d been born into a situation with opportunity, resources, a support system, and self-confidence. Shad never knew his worth. Deep down, he always felt inferior. He was born to a single mom who did her best... I don’t condemn his mother at all.
From the time we were kids, I always wanted to rescue Shad. I wanted him to have what I had. I remember the times he would wake me up in the middle of the night, tapping on my window, and I’d let him in to sleep on my floor. I knew he'd be safe there. Or the times in school when I’d turn my body just so for him to copy my test answers. I didn’t want him to fail. He wasn’t stupid; he just didn’t think he could, so he didn’t try. Eventually, he got tired of my mothering, and he would just a soon pick a fight with me than to see my pity for him. He was so infectious with his snaggle-tooth smile (I was there when he broke his tooth off on armer Mel's pick up) and his personality that even when he’d push my buttons just enough for my pity to evaporate, soon we’d be pals again. I loved him very much and I was very afraid for him, too. I guess that was well-founded. Over the years we pretty much lost touch. I couldn’t help him. I didn’t have the power. Oh Shad, I want to wring your neck. It didn’t have to be this way, but I guess neither of us knew how to fix it. I count this as loss. Happy would-have-been-birthday, Shad.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I forgive but I'll never forget...
I forgive but I’ll never forget. What is that? Is that really forgiveness? Do we want to be forgiven that way? “I forgive you, but I’m going to hold your offense over your head for the rest of your life and use it to measure everything you ever try to accomplish.” What that says is “I will not forgive.”
What’s forgivable and what’s not? Time and again I see polls asking the public if they could forgive a cheater. Have you ever caught an episode of Cheaters on late night tv? …a camera crew and the scorned spouse/mate hiding out for the moment of discovery and all the drama that plays out in the confrontation… add the hype of reality television. It’s a very sad, sad situation. Likewise, in these polls, the overwhelming consensus on the question of a cheating spouse is no way, no forgiveness. Everything is forgivable. More than once, women in my life have had to deal with infidelity. Some stayed, some did not. Some chose to forgive while some just chose to stay and daily swallow that bitter pill of unforgiveness.
Personally, I know a little bit about forgiveness. I was the one in need of redemption. I strayed. While dating, I broke up with Rodney and married someone else. Two very-long-miserable years later I returned, much like the prodigal son, and just like the father to his son, Rodney welcomed me home with love and thankfulness. And the rest is history because, and only because, Rodney forgave me and forgot about it. In his limited (human) love for me, he gave me the gift of forgiveness and something as close to unconditional love as this human world can know. Never in our 15 years back together has he ever thrown it in my face or used it against me as ammunition in an argument. We don’t talk about it. It almost didn’t happen. Why do I tell you this? I know what it means to be forgiven. It has taught me to grant forgiveness freely and quickly. I have a friend who tramples me fairly often and it makes Rodney crazy that I allow it. Ironic, I know; I guess he wants to protect me from the hurt. But I love her, and I have already forgotten the last transgression before the next transgression occurs. It’s a choice. I love my friend and I’m not a doormat. I just choose to love, and I choose to forgive and forget.
When women confide in me that they are unhappy, many times it stems from unforgiveness. Unforgiveness and true happiness cannot coexist within someone. Harboring unforgiveness in your heart makes you the loser. You lose out on life and love and intimacy and joy… and fun and wholeness and security and blessing… everything good God wants for you. If you cannot forgive, you might as well set your spouse free from their life sentence of your unforgiveness and get a divorce. And I would never recommend divorce ESPECIALLY if there are children in the marriage. This is worthy of a blog post in its own: Parents should NOT DIVORCE because… The alternative to divorce is to let go of self and make room for love and restoration. I forgive doesn’t say “it’s okay that you hurt me and please do it again”. I forgive doesn’t say “I’m weak”. I forgive says, “I choose to do this for my own well being”. I forgive says, “nothing is going to keep me in bondage and rob my joy”. I forgive says, “I know that I am forgiven”.
This week in church, Pastor James shared with us the story of Hosea and Gomer… quite a love story, right? With a name like Gomer, it can’t be good… If you don’t know the story, here’s a quick synopsis: God instructs Hosea to marry a prostitute (he chooses Gomer) and have children with her. Eventually she leaves Hosea and goes back to other men thus completely breaking Hosea’s heart. In time Hosea buys her back from her master and takes her home where she belongs. He continues to love her. He’s loved her the whole time despite the hard truth. The message for us in this? God loves us in this way—he goes after us at our worst until he gets us and makes lovers of men and women who know nothing of real love. And once we absorb this story and the words that flow from it, we will know God far more accurately…from The Message Bible. The point? Gomer wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t worthy. My girlfriend isn’t worthy. Your spouse isn’t worthy. None are worthy, yet God pursues us anyway. Forgiveness is a choice. It’s not contingent on feeling. i.e. I feel like I can forgive… We are commanded to forgive and the consequences of unforgiveness is devastating both here on earth and in heaven.
Paul wrote to the Corinthians that they should forgive… if anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Peter came to Jesus in Matthew 18 and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
And Paul also said, "Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you" (Eph. 4:32). "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13).
What’s forgivable and what’s not? Time and again I see polls asking the public if they could forgive a cheater. Have you ever caught an episode of Cheaters on late night tv? …a camera crew and the scorned spouse/mate hiding out for the moment of discovery and all the drama that plays out in the confrontation… add the hype of reality television. It’s a very sad, sad situation. Likewise, in these polls, the overwhelming consensus on the question of a cheating spouse is no way, no forgiveness. Everything is forgivable. More than once, women in my life have had to deal with infidelity. Some stayed, some did not. Some chose to forgive while some just chose to stay and daily swallow that bitter pill of unforgiveness.
Personally, I know a little bit about forgiveness. I was the one in need of redemption. I strayed. While dating, I broke up with Rodney and married someone else. Two very-long-miserable years later I returned, much like the prodigal son, and just like the father to his son, Rodney welcomed me home with love and thankfulness. And the rest is history because, and only because, Rodney forgave me and forgot about it. In his limited (human) love for me, he gave me the gift of forgiveness and something as close to unconditional love as this human world can know. Never in our 15 years back together has he ever thrown it in my face or used it against me as ammunition in an argument. We don’t talk about it. It almost didn’t happen. Why do I tell you this? I know what it means to be forgiven. It has taught me to grant forgiveness freely and quickly. I have a friend who tramples me fairly often and it makes Rodney crazy that I allow it. Ironic, I know; I guess he wants to protect me from the hurt. But I love her, and I have already forgotten the last transgression before the next transgression occurs. It’s a choice. I love my friend and I’m not a doormat. I just choose to love, and I choose to forgive and forget.
This week in church, Pastor James shared with us the story of Hosea and Gomer… quite a love story, right? With a name like Gomer, it can’t be good… If you don’t know the story, here’s a quick synopsis: God instructs Hosea to marry a prostitute (he chooses Gomer) and have children with her. Eventually she leaves Hosea and goes back to other men thus completely breaking Hosea’s heart. In time Hosea buys her back from her master and takes her home where she belongs. He continues to love her. He’s loved her the whole time despite the hard truth. The message for us in this? God loves us in this way—he goes after us at our worst until he gets us and makes lovers of men and women who know nothing of real love. And once we absorb this story and the words that flow from it, we will know God far more accurately…from The Message Bible. The point? Gomer wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t worthy. My girlfriend isn’t worthy. Your spouse isn’t worthy. None are worthy, yet God pursues us anyway. Forgiveness is a choice. It’s not contingent on feeling. i.e. I feel like I can forgive… We are commanded to forgive and the consequences of unforgiveness is devastating both here on earth and in heaven.
Paul wrote to the Corinthians that they should forgive… if anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Peter came to Jesus in Matthew 18 and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
And Paul also said, "Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you" (Eph. 4:32). "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13).
And by the way... I have lived in 27 houses. :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Gypsy girl crosses old paths...
July 29, 2010: Driving up I-44 just past Springfield, Missouri, (my birthplace) on our way to the funeral in Ohio, I realized that we were getting ready to drive by Marshfield, Missouri. I attended school there... twice. Not two days, two different grades... half of kindergarten and half of second grade. It was a very dark night both ways when we drove through Marshfield so I didn't really see anything I recognized. The 76 service station that I remember being at that exit is either gone or changed to something else and completely unfamiliar. As I drove by in the dark, still not believing that I was really driving to Ohio, I realized that by driving through (by) Marshfield, I had driven within 22 miles of all the schools I ever attended within the last 30 days. Big deal, right? Actually it kinda is. I attended 5 different primary schools and one college in my life time and two of the primary schools I attended twice, like Marshfield.
July 5, 2010: When I left Des Monies, Iowa, after my grandmother's 80th birthday party and drove up to Austin, Minnesota, I was within 11 miles of the Southland school district where I also went to elementary school in Rose Creek two different times... the other half of kindergarten through the first half of second grade and then again in fourth grade. I was also 22 miles from Grand Meadow, Minnesota, where I attended third grade. I will always remember that the teachers went on strike when I was a third grader and we got to stay home. That was very cool. It seems like it was about 3 weeks, but for all I know it could have just been a week. The odd thing about being in the Austin area is that every time before when I visited, I would also visit Dexter which would have gotten me even closer two those two schools... within 6 miles, but this time I didn't go there. When I left Austin and headed north to my aunt Barbie's house near Alexandria, I drove through Minneapolis and came within 12 miles of Prior Lake's Five Hawks Elementary where I attended most of fifth grade before moving to Oklahoma, where I finally stayed put and graduated high school and still live today.
Sometime between July 12-23, 2010: I even drove right by the campus of Northwestern Oklahoma State University, my alma mater, this summer when I went and hauled a load of gravel to an oilfield location northeast of Alva, Oklahoma, with my husband one day.
So really, with all these schools being in about an 800 mile stretch north to south and not on a direct route to anywhere that one would normally pass through on a single trip, that really is pretty amazing that I was within 22 miles or less of each one of them this July. I did feel a bit like the gypsy girl of years past this summer in all my travels. I am just so glad to be rooted down with no plans to move.... ever again.
Trivia question: have a guess of how many houses I've lived in during my 37 years? Hint: I've lived in three different houses in my 15 years of marriage and six different places the five years while I was in college...
I'll post the answer in my next blog.
July 5, 2010: When I left Des Monies, Iowa, after my grandmother's 80th birthday party and drove up to Austin, Minnesota, I was within 11 miles of the Southland school district where I also went to elementary school in Rose Creek two different times... the other half of kindergarten through the first half of second grade and then again in fourth grade. I was also 22 miles from Grand Meadow, Minnesota, where I attended third grade. I will always remember that the teachers went on strike when I was a third grader and we got to stay home. That was very cool. It seems like it was about 3 weeks, but for all I know it could have just been a week. The odd thing about being in the Austin area is that every time before when I visited, I would also visit Dexter which would have gotten me even closer two those two schools... within 6 miles, but this time I didn't go there. When I left Austin and headed north to my aunt Barbie's house near Alexandria, I drove through Minneapolis and came within 12 miles of Prior Lake's Five Hawks Elementary where I attended most of fifth grade before moving to Oklahoma, where I finally stayed put and graduated high school and still live today.
Sometime between July 12-23, 2010: I even drove right by the campus of Northwestern Oklahoma State University, my alma mater, this summer when I went and hauled a load of gravel to an oilfield location northeast of Alva, Oklahoma, with my husband one day.
So really, with all these schools being in about an 800 mile stretch north to south and not on a direct route to anywhere that one would normally pass through on a single trip, that really is pretty amazing that I was within 22 miles or less of each one of them this July. I did feel a bit like the gypsy girl of years past this summer in all my travels. I am just so glad to be rooted down with no plans to move.... ever again.
Trivia question: have a guess of how many houses I've lived in during my 37 years? Hint: I've lived in three different houses in my 15 years of marriage and six different places the five years while I was in college...
I'll post the answer in my next blog.
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| This isn't actually one of our moves from when I was a kid, but I'm betting that some of those "short moves" where probably very similar.... lol. |
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Three statements that ruffle my feathers...
You might call me sensitive or maybe even pathetic after you read this, but there are a few statements that truly ruffle my feathers. And the really sad part is that the intention of the speaker of these highly offensive statements is generally meant to bring comfort or show concern, but to me it does just the opposite. You're probably going to think I'm crazy, so prepare yourself. Here we go...
1. Smile. Now, if they're getting ready to take my picture, that's one thing, but if they're insinuating that I'm unhappy, we have a problem. I am probably more full of joy and peace and contentment than 99% of the people I know. Things like worry, envy, and sorrow do not dwell in me- not for any length of time anyway. Many times when I am driven by a task, I am focused and determined. I realize that I may appear unhappy, but I am not.... I'm busy. When others tell me to smile, it tells me that they believe I am miserable which really couldn't be farther from the truth. But, if they're truly worried about me, they would ask me how I'm really doing and stick around long enough to listen to the answer.
2. We missed you last Sunday. I don't know why this simple little phrase of Christianese (language that's really religious, but not very real) wears on me, but it does. It says to me- so where were you? what was more important than being in church? It doesn't come from the people who really care about you or who you are close to- it comes from those who are letting you know that they are keeping track, keeping some sort of scorecard on your faithful church attendance. I've watched others receive this statement as well and it torques me equally as much. Usually, explanations or excuses start flooding out of their mouths. Not me. I just smile a tight smile through gritted teeth and say nothing... even if I was just laying in bed last Sunday (which I've only done once in 13 years, but who's keeping score?) I do have to give my congregation a great big A+... this morning I just returned to church after being gone 7 (yes, seven!) Sundays in a row and not one single person spewed those words on me. Many expressed to me that they were very happy to see me and that they were glad I was back. They acknowledged our busy summer and everything that's been going on in our personal lives, but not one gave me the indication that they were requesting an explanation or that we were heathens for being absent. Kuddos to my church family whom I love dearly.
3. Pray about it. Are you kidding me? Seriously? If you are saying this to me, you do not know me at all AND you have just insulted me greatly. For one thing, if I am sharing a concern with you, then that means 1. you are very close to me and 2. I highly value your opinion and trust your judgement. Then you also know that I have been praying about it for some time now- weeks, months, possibly years. You also know that my prayer life is alive and well. But, occasionally, someone who I don't know nearly as well will ask me a pointed question or we will start talking about a topic that I am struggling with the answer to and after we discuss through it, they will throw out there those three insulting words, "well, just pray about it." It says to me that they don't think that I've already thought of that, or that I'm not a person who prays. When they close our conversation with that simple statement of, yet more Christianese, it completely undermines the conversation that we just had.
So am I just a little crazy? Maybe. Maybe I am just a snob. Maybe I need to get over myself. It sure makes me choose my words very carefully and only say what I really mean. Christianese drives me crazy, too. It's so vague and shallow and trite. People who are real to me, don't use it. I realize that it's truly a luxury to be understood by others and these three statements shouldn't get me all twisted up inside, but I just want to reply to them sometimes, "Are you for real?"
1. Smile. Now, if they're getting ready to take my picture, that's one thing, but if they're insinuating that I'm unhappy, we have a problem. I am probably more full of joy and peace and contentment than 99% of the people I know. Things like worry, envy, and sorrow do not dwell in me- not for any length of time anyway. Many times when I am driven by a task, I am focused and determined. I realize that I may appear unhappy, but I am not.... I'm busy. When others tell me to smile, it tells me that they believe I am miserable which really couldn't be farther from the truth. But, if they're truly worried about me, they would ask me how I'm really doing and stick around long enough to listen to the answer.
2. We missed you last Sunday. I don't know why this simple little phrase of Christianese (language that's really religious, but not very real) wears on me, but it does. It says to me- so where were you? what was more important than being in church? It doesn't come from the people who really care about you or who you are close to- it comes from those who are letting you know that they are keeping track, keeping some sort of scorecard on your faithful church attendance. I've watched others receive this statement as well and it torques me equally as much. Usually, explanations or excuses start flooding out of their mouths. Not me. I just smile a tight smile through gritted teeth and say nothing... even if I was just laying in bed last Sunday (which I've only done once in 13 years, but who's keeping score?) I do have to give my congregation a great big A+... this morning I just returned to church after being gone 7 (yes, seven!) Sundays in a row and not one single person spewed those words on me. Many expressed to me that they were very happy to see me and that they were glad I was back. They acknowledged our busy summer and everything that's been going on in our personal lives, but not one gave me the indication that they were requesting an explanation or that we were heathens for being absent. Kuddos to my church family whom I love dearly.
3. Pray about it. Are you kidding me? Seriously? If you are saying this to me, you do not know me at all AND you have just insulted me greatly. For one thing, if I am sharing a concern with you, then that means 1. you are very close to me and 2. I highly value your opinion and trust your judgement. Then you also know that I have been praying about it for some time now- weeks, months, possibly years. You also know that my prayer life is alive and well. But, occasionally, someone who I don't know nearly as well will ask me a pointed question or we will start talking about a topic that I am struggling with the answer to and after we discuss through it, they will throw out there those three insulting words, "well, just pray about it." It says to me that they don't think that I've already thought of that, or that I'm not a person who prays. When they close our conversation with that simple statement of, yet more Christianese, it completely undermines the conversation that we just had.
So am I just a little crazy? Maybe. Maybe I am just a snob. Maybe I need to get over myself. It sure makes me choose my words very carefully and only say what I really mean. Christianese drives me crazy, too. It's so vague and shallow and trite. People who are real to me, don't use it. I realize that it's truly a luxury to be understood by others and these three statements shouldn't get me all twisted up inside, but I just want to reply to them sometimes, "Are you for real?"
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Jim was a good man...
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| Rosalind, Rayne, Shelby and Makenna at Jim and Patsy's house before the funeral |
The next morning we spent some time at Jim and Patsy's house before the funeral. Later, as we approached the church, we noticed a "service vehicle" in the road several blocks past the church that wasn't there when we went by on our way to the house. Both Rodney and I thought it was a utility company working on the power lines. We proceeded into the parking lot of their small country church and as part of the normal funeral line up process, parked our car behind the EMS vehicles and the ambulance serving as a hearse. When we went inside, the casket guards were in place again, this time at the front of the church. The family didn't come in formally, but all sat together in the front across from the Delaware County honor guard. Church family and friends filled the rest of the sanctuary.
Just after the casket guards were relieved for the beginning of the funeral, "Jim was a good man," she said. All I could think was "Amen." All three of Jim's pastors from his time in the Kilbourne church were part of the funeral service. The pastor who served the longest was Sonja Bender and she knew Jim well. Her voice was so soothing, almost healing. She went on to talk about relationships and action behind faith even when no one is watching. Several people shared about their love for Jim and what their relationship meant to them. Ed was one of them who told of Jim interviewing him for his position of EMT and learning the ropes from Jim and spending years as his partner. He talked about how Jim was a role model for him at work as well as in his personal life. Jim stood up with Ed in his wedding and later Jim and Patsy supported Ed's kids- following their school activities and ballgames throughout the years. The church choir that Jim participated in every week, practiced with every week and who took turns seeing Jim to treatments and appointments sang a couple of lively choral numbers that aren't normally performed at a funeral. It was so appropriate. Jim's siblings, Karen and David sang a duet that was equally appropriate. In her benediction, Pastor Bender began singing a capella from the pulpit before she closed the service with prayer.
As everyone exited the church, the Delaware County honor guard lined both sides of the walkway, approximately 25-30 of them. They saluted as the casket came out of the church and the pallbearers loaded it into the ambulance. Mist gently fell and cooled the summertime air... it couldn't have been more perfect. Everyone loaded in their cars for the procession to the cemetery. Ten service men escorted the ambulance on foot all the way to the cemetery. The truck that Rodney and I had mistaken for a utility truck was actually two firetrucks that now held a huge flag between them over the entrance to the cemetery... more Delaware County workers were honoring Jim that day. They stood at attention, saluting the entire procession as it passed by them. At the graveside, two military bagpipes played Taps and Amazing Grace, and two military men performed a flag folding ceremony and presented the flag to Patsy. Delaware County honor guard stood facing the family just under the edge of the tent. The call came over the radio from the central dispatch for the county giving a final call for Jim Tharp, Delaware County 3. A closing prayer was offered and with the amen the mist falling from the sky stopped.
We were in awe of the formality, honor and respect of each portion of Jim's funeral process. These men and women who were a part of this honor guard were giving of their precious time to honor one of their own for a great portion of two days. Jim retired from the Delaware County EMS after 27 years in 1999, so he had been retired for 11 years. Jim was also a veteran of the Vietnam war. We were surprised to learn that not every family of deceased service workers in Delaware County allows the honor guard to be a part of the funeral process. What a honor it felt like to us to witness their devotion to one of their own. Ed mentioned that Jim's funeral was one that every county worker wanted to be apart of the honor guard because of their relationship with Jim and their respect for him. It was a very humbling experience for us all and one that we will never forget.
We returned to the church for a lunch provided by the women of Kilbourne United Methodist. We were so impressed with the church, not the building, mind you, but the people. They were an active, close knit group that loved Jim.
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| Two fire engines holding a flag above the cemetery entrance |
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| more Delaware County workers honoring Jim |
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| Delaware County saluting the funeral procession |
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