Be nice? Be good.

When you were a kid and mom left you home alone the first several times to run an errand or attend a short meeting or appointment, what did she tell you just before she left?... besides "Don't burn the house down!"... she'd say "Be good."  Now, when playing with distant cousins who you only see 1-2 times a year, she gives different instructions.  Okay, maybe it wasn't your cousins, but it was that kid who was difficult, demanding and just overall hard to get along with.... the bratty cry-baby who worked his poor parents over.  We all have at least one of those somewhere in our childhood, and what was mom's instructions then?  "Be nice."

Be good.  Be nice.  Why didn't mom tell you to be nice when she ran up to the grocery store for a few minutes?  Say a stranger knocks on the door... hmmm.  Be good or be nice?  The nice thing to do would be to open the door and inquire about the stranger's needs or intentions.  The good thing to do is to ignore him and stay safely locked inside near the telephone.  And why did mom instruct you to be nice instead of be good to the miserable child you encountered on rare occasions?  Along with that "be nice" came an implied Please endure this for just a little while.  I know it's not fair.  I know it's wrong.  Let's just get through this and later we'll all go for ice cream.  Chances are, the boundaries would be set in place for this miserable child who is desprately searching for his boundaries everyday and finding none if this was a regular engagement.

Be nice and be good have two very different meanings.  Be nice=grit your teeth and endure all the while acting in a pleasant manner.  Be nice=tolerance.  Be nice, however, does not equal love.  Be good, on the other hand, means remember everything you've been taught and remember who you are and make the best decision based on this.  Be good means you are worthy of my time and energy and I value you.  Be good=I love you.

Tell me, was Jesus very good at being nice?  How many times did he suck it up, grit his teeth and be nice just to keep the peace instead of rebuking [definition: to scold in a sharp way] bad behavior or faulty thinking?  I'm not talking about the wee hours of the morning on Good Friday here, either.  I assure you that his silence during his "trials" was not because he was being nice, but that's another topic for another day.  When Jesus entered the temple at Jerusalem early in Holy Week, did he smile and endure the exchange that was happening before his eyes?  No.  Jesus began physically intimidating these businessmen by upending tables and sending money and merchandise flying in every direction.  And then he drove them all from the temple with a whip he had braided by his own hand.  [John 2:12-17]  What about the grave rebuking he gave the Pharisee who invited him over for a meal after one of Jesus' days of teaching.  Now, would a nice man deliver a speech like the six woes to a host in his own home? [Luke 11:37-54]  What about the disciples... do you think they would describe Jesus as a nice man?  He kept them on a short chain, reprimanding them everytime it was necessary.  Was he nice about it?  If you think so, I suggest you take another trip through the gospels. 

Is there a reason nice guys finish last?  Of course.  They have no spine.  They don't stand up and do the right thing or the hard thing.  They become the doormat that lets everyone walk all over them in the name of being nice.  In Jesus' earthly ministry, he was not nice.  (He was kind, good, and full of compassion.) Why was he not nice?  The Lord disciplines those he loves.  [Hebrews12:6]  He was trying to get people to be good... to do the right thing, and sometimes it takes drastic measures to be heard.  What about you..... is it okay to simply be nice all the time?  What does love look like at your house?  Deep down, would you rather be known as someone who is good or nice?

What if we could Facebook a sermon...

Regardless of your computer savvy, if you use a PC and have internet access, most likely you have a routine... places you check, shop or visit regularly.  If you haven't noticed, every site you visit wants  you to respond to the content you read regardless of your knowledge about the subject.  Or if you have knowledge of a particular product or service, sites want your opinion or a review from you measuring the worth of a product or a service.  Do you Facebook?  Do you watch Youtube?  Do you follow any blogs?  Do you check the latest headlines via the internet?  On each of these sites, they want your comments- thus the little expandable comment box at the bottom of each post.

During our Sunday morning worship services, projected on the big screen front and center is everything from announcements to praise music words to video clips and visual aids for the preacher's sermon.  Occasionally I fill in operating the equipment when the normal overhead projection person (Deborah, what is your title anyway??) is absent.  Recently, while filling in, I had a thought....  I was listening to our preacher presenting his sermon and following his notes and changing the slides when prompted to do so, and I wondered what it would be like if there was a comment box projected on the big screen front and center?  What if we could post our amens or our little quips of wit for everyone in the congregation to see and enjoy during the sermon?  Initially I thought I'd really thought of something clever and I was enjoying my private "what if" party.  I couldn't decided if these comments would be anonymous or reveal the sender?  Maybe give the author the choice.  Should there be a moderator for the comments?  Who would be appointed to do that job?  Would there be any guidelines for the content of the comments?  If so, who should decide that?  The preacher?  After all, it is his message and performance we're judging either by praising it, or poking fun at it...  But, hey wait, I'm a teacher.  Would I want that same comment box posted above the chalkboard or smart board of my classroom during every lesson?  Do I really want to know what my students think of my lessons during my lesson?  Hmmm.  No.  Am I open to questions [about style and content] and constructive criticism after the lesson in a one on one, face to face conversation?  Yes. 

Back to church, in our sermon commenting, would we be sensitive to the tone of the message with our quips?  Would it be in the Holy Spirit's best interest to mock the words he laid upon the preacher to deliver?  Would our posts be guided by faith or by emotion?  Do we know our Bibles well enough and know enough theology to leave educated comments for all to see?  Is it really our job as laypeople to critique each sermon we hear?  For false teaching, yes.  There should be a whole lot of Berean in each of us.  For rhetric and entertainment value, no.  Period.

This was a great idea that was fun to brainstorm in the realms of the what if world our daydreams occasionally allow us to visit now and again.

Silence is acceptance...

Sometimes I feel completely out of the loop. I never (strong word, I know) know what's going on. But, I also think that it's probably my fault. Over the years, whenever I'm in a conversation with someone (usually women) rather it be one-on-one or in a small group, I cannot keep my mouth shut. I try. I really do. But when I hear faulty thinking or flawed reasoning, I point it out.

Let me give an example. The first time I can remember doing this was about 12 years ago. I was riding in the car with a new-friend-candidate. I don't remember the exact conversation or topic, but it was about this speed: Candidate says, "Tomorrow's my mother-in-law's birthday. We're supposed to have a party for her and then go out to eat with [husband's] family. But she's just so nosy and nasty. I just can't stand to be around her. I'm going to call [husband] at work tomorrow and make him take me to the city tomorrow instead. I need to have my nails filled anyway. We can go eat at Spaghetti Warehouse then, too. It's not his favorite, but I like it." Me, totally aghast, "Candidate, you can't do that!" Needless to say, the car fell silent and we still are not "friends" to this day. Although, I do think she's come a long way since then.

Other examples come from when small groups of people will be standing around visiting and one will be on a rant about something that irritates him/her and is voicing some really faulty thinking. I can't help it. I usually speak up and expose the flawed reasoning or squelch the gossip. So, no one ever talks that talk around me because they know I won't listen to it and they don't want to look bad when I have to shut it down. Consequently, I'm out of the loop... which isn't usually a bad thing... only when you miss something important and worthy. I know it's my own fault because I practice the motto that silence is acceptance. Ever been standing around listening to a conversation that isn't lining up with reality or truth? Do you just stand there and politely listen, even smiling maybe? I don't. I can't. If it's something so trivial or something I just don't want to address for various reasons (possibly confidentiality), I simply walk away. By standing there and saying nothing, everyone assumes that I agree with everything being said. By staying silent, I am accepting the conversation as truth or supporting the position of the speaker. I have talked to my children about this over and over. Some days they come home from school and tell me about a conversation and what they chose to do about it.... sometimes they intervene if they feel comfortable to do so, and sometimes they simply walk away so as to not be associated with it at all. Bravo, girls! [insert standing ovation of a proud mama] So, let me ask you... what have you accepted lately?

*We could break into a political discussion here, but I'd just rather not.

A newbie to blogging...

I'm completely new to this whole blogging thing... I've decided that I have a lot to say even if no one is listening, so here it will be. It will be random. It will be easy to read, and it will be completely me. We'll see where it goes from here. Hello, my name is Roshelle. Nice to meet you today.