A tat for you?

Okay, my brother's best friend's brother... (did you follow that?) has a college math professor who every year teaches his students several equations that are vital to passing his class.  One of them, he goes so far as to joke with the students and tell them that they might as well tattoo it on their arm... it's that vital that they know it.  Well, Phillip did.... inside of one of the tattoos already on his arm.  It's not very noticible to the average person taking a quick glance, but useable, nonetheless.  When Phillip showed the professor, he was speechless.  He told Phillip that he'd been telling students that for 20 years and no one has ever done it.

My initial reaction was a smile and "wow..." but after I started thinking about it, over the last 20 years there probably weren't many college students with lots of tattoos as the "norm".  Sure, there were several who had a few small ones here and there- usually covered up but none you could hide the quadratic formula inside virtually unnoticed... on the forearm.

I was going to leave this subject alone, but when I heard this story, it really made me think.

I've heard it said that we live in a bubble here in Western Oklahoma... in a small farming community in the heart of the wheat belt and the heart of the Bible belt... i.e. I live in an area pretty sheltered by social norms of the big cities or the coasts.  Recently, my friend circle was in a discussion about tattoos and how we view them personally.  Several wanted to label them as sinful.  Others were okay with them, but would never get one themselves.  Some have one and have regretted it some later.  Some just didn't like them.  I can understand the regret; it's pretty much for life.  I can go with the "it's okay for you but not for me" thought, but I just can stand behind the belief that it's a sin.   Yes, I hear you.  I know it's in the Bible.  Leviticus 19:28 says Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.  In this passage God is instructing the Israelites to refrain from pagan rituals of the people living around them at the time.  Did you realize that it also says just 9 verses earlier in verse 19 Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. You know what that means don't you?  All of us wearing our 50/50 cotton/poly  blends are sinners, too, if we take every law handed down to the Israelites literally.  I'm sorry.  You can't pick and choose.  The good news is that we, Christians don't live under that law anymore.  Jesus came to fulfill the law and release us from the 613 Old Testament laws were part of God's plan to prove that we humans are unable to keep the law, laws, rules, etc.. on our own and therefore we needed a Savior.

Look at Gal 3:23-35 Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

This Savior talked and taught about many subjects during his earthly ministry... even 9 of the 10 commandments (excluding the Sabbeth). Jesus' greatest two commandments were love your God... and love your neighbor as yourself... in knowing Jesus and loving Jesus, it would be assumed then that our intent would be to live to please him and serve him. In order to please and serve someone, one must know them very well to know how to choose for them. Therefore all his teachings would be learned to know his heart, personality, and preferences....I think we have a hard time with just following two rules that seem so easy. Actually they are so hard. It requires us to think every single day and act every single day. We must constantly be evaluating our actions objectively and making adjustments to keep God above all and everything else in balance.  That said, I do not believe that Jesus ever addressed tattoos or dismissed them.

But, because I live in this "bubble", honestly, seeing men and women who are heavily tattooed where it is highly visible still shocks me a little as do body piercings beyond earlobes.  I think it affects me this way because 1.  I'm trying so hard to act "normal", but  2.  I'm curious to look, and  3.  I'm wondering "why did this individual decide to do this?" all the while, 4.  trying not to pass judgment and 5.  not be discovered that I am initially uncomfortable because of the tattoos or piercings.  I know.  It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?  I actually have a couple cousins who are normal, functioning people with lots of tattoos.  I have a male cousin with earrings who is also a completely normal heterosexual, and several of my friends have tattoos.  I also have a cousin in prison for murder and to my knowledge, he has no piercings or tattoos. 

So where do I stand on this subject?  Do I have one- no.  Do I consider it sin- no.  Do I want one- no.  Do I want my kids to get one- no, but it is my job as a parent to tell them that and then to give them all the information available to help them make an objective decision when the time comes. Times are changing everywhere outside my bubble, and slowly my bubble is being invaded by more and more social norms from across the country.  Inside my bubble, business owners still won't hire employees with visible tattoos and body piercing must be removed during working hours.  Inside my bubble, most locals still look down on these things and judge those with tattoos and body piercings as inappropriate or even as sinful.

Clothed in attitude

I read a short article by Greg Laurie the other day about Ruth Graham being in the hospital with her fourth hip replacement surgery and hearing the news that her beloved, Billy, was coming in to see her that morning.  The article interviewed Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of the Grahams.  Anne told of how Mrs. Graham got up from her wheelchair and asked Anne to help her put on a new dress and fix her hair and makeup.  The article went on to explain the love between the Grahams and the high priority  Mrs. Graham put on looking her best for her husband.  Then it starting urging wives to do the same today.  My first thought was "yeah!" and my very next was "how absurd....". 

For a woman in her "twilight" years as they described her, this was something women often did for their husbands.  (I assume.)  But today, I have friends that don't even own a dress.  I also have friends that won't generally leave the house without full make up and are horrified if you catch them at it.  I have friends that are so vain... who are always making statements like, "I'm so out of shape."  "I need to lose about 15 pounds."  "Oh my gosh, look at me... I look horrible."  Statements like this go in one ear and out the other for me, so I cannot imagine how tuned out their husbands are to these types of comments.  These are women that don't dress for their husbands, they dress for themselves and everyone else around them.  I have other friends that only wear oversized t-shirts and sweats or gym shorts... (elastic waistbands).  The self-esteem of these women is very low, too, much like that of the vain woman.  Yeah, yeah... I hear you loud and clear- comfort.  I don't buy it.  I just wish that these women could look in the mirror and see what God sees at this weight or this season of their lives.  He sees his very own masterpiece.  I wish every woman could go shopping with a professional stylist, much like Stacey London and Clinton Kelly on "What Not to Wear".  Time and time again you hear them saying to dress for the body you have right now, not for the one you wish you had...  God's idea of perfection is not a certain size or weight; it's the whole package.  I believe his idea of the perfect woman is one who is balanced. Women are beautiful creatures, but what makes us lovely?  I will tell you that it's not our individual features which we were born with but what we do with them and the attitude in which we occupy them.  There is nothing more lovely that a woman who loves herself and loves her husband... who is content in her heart and serves others.  People are attracted to her but not because of her outward beauty but because of her confidence and her attitude.  A balanced woman is completely comfortable and satisfied in her own skin and her attitude is that of love and gratitude.  So back to the original thought that triggered this line of thinking for me- I don't think a new dress and a little makeup can fix  the sour attitude so many women have.  Even a beauty queen is ugly with an attitude of a shrew.  And yes, I occasionally wear gym shorts and oversized t-shirts.... but look for every excuse to pull out the "little black dress" my husband loves to see me in.

Be nice? Be good.

When you were a kid and mom left you home alone the first several times to run an errand or attend a short meeting or appointment, what did she tell you just before she left?... besides "Don't burn the house down!"... she'd say "Be good."  Now, when playing with distant cousins who you only see 1-2 times a year, she gives different instructions.  Okay, maybe it wasn't your cousins, but it was that kid who was difficult, demanding and just overall hard to get along with.... the bratty cry-baby who worked his poor parents over.  We all have at least one of those somewhere in our childhood, and what was mom's instructions then?  "Be nice."

Be good.  Be nice.  Why didn't mom tell you to be nice when she ran up to the grocery store for a few minutes?  Say a stranger knocks on the door... hmmm.  Be good or be nice?  The nice thing to do would be to open the door and inquire about the stranger's needs or intentions.  The good thing to do is to ignore him and stay safely locked inside near the telephone.  And why did mom instruct you to be nice instead of be good to the miserable child you encountered on rare occasions?  Along with that "be nice" came an implied Please endure this for just a little while.  I know it's not fair.  I know it's wrong.  Let's just get through this and later we'll all go for ice cream.  Chances are, the boundaries would be set in place for this miserable child who is desprately searching for his boundaries everyday and finding none if this was a regular engagement.

Be nice and be good have two very different meanings.  Be nice=grit your teeth and endure all the while acting in a pleasant manner.  Be nice=tolerance.  Be nice, however, does not equal love.  Be good, on the other hand, means remember everything you've been taught and remember who you are and make the best decision based on this.  Be good means you are worthy of my time and energy and I value you.  Be good=I love you.

Tell me, was Jesus very good at being nice?  How many times did he suck it up, grit his teeth and be nice just to keep the peace instead of rebuking [definition: to scold in a sharp way] bad behavior or faulty thinking?  I'm not talking about the wee hours of the morning on Good Friday here, either.  I assure you that his silence during his "trials" was not because he was being nice, but that's another topic for another day.  When Jesus entered the temple at Jerusalem early in Holy Week, did he smile and endure the exchange that was happening before his eyes?  No.  Jesus began physically intimidating these businessmen by upending tables and sending money and merchandise flying in every direction.  And then he drove them all from the temple with a whip he had braided by his own hand.  [John 2:12-17]  What about the grave rebuking he gave the Pharisee who invited him over for a meal after one of Jesus' days of teaching.  Now, would a nice man deliver a speech like the six woes to a host in his own home? [Luke 11:37-54]  What about the disciples... do you think they would describe Jesus as a nice man?  He kept them on a short chain, reprimanding them everytime it was necessary.  Was he nice about it?  If you think so, I suggest you take another trip through the gospels. 

Is there a reason nice guys finish last?  Of course.  They have no spine.  They don't stand up and do the right thing or the hard thing.  They become the doormat that lets everyone walk all over them in the name of being nice.  In Jesus' earthly ministry, he was not nice.  (He was kind, good, and full of compassion.) Why was he not nice?  The Lord disciplines those he loves.  [Hebrews12:6]  He was trying to get people to be good... to do the right thing, and sometimes it takes drastic measures to be heard.  What about you..... is it okay to simply be nice all the time?  What does love look like at your house?  Deep down, would you rather be known as someone who is good or nice?

What if we could Facebook a sermon...

Regardless of your computer savvy, if you use a PC and have internet access, most likely you have a routine... places you check, shop or visit regularly.  If you haven't noticed, every site you visit wants  you to respond to the content you read regardless of your knowledge about the subject.  Or if you have knowledge of a particular product or service, sites want your opinion or a review from you measuring the worth of a product or a service.  Do you Facebook?  Do you watch Youtube?  Do you follow any blogs?  Do you check the latest headlines via the internet?  On each of these sites, they want your comments- thus the little expandable comment box at the bottom of each post.

During our Sunday morning worship services, projected on the big screen front and center is everything from announcements to praise music words to video clips and visual aids for the preacher's sermon.  Occasionally I fill in operating the equipment when the normal overhead projection person (Deborah, what is your title anyway??) is absent.  Recently, while filling in, I had a thought....  I was listening to our preacher presenting his sermon and following his notes and changing the slides when prompted to do so, and I wondered what it would be like if there was a comment box projected on the big screen front and center?  What if we could post our amens or our little quips of wit for everyone in the congregation to see and enjoy during the sermon?  Initially I thought I'd really thought of something clever and I was enjoying my private "what if" party.  I couldn't decided if these comments would be anonymous or reveal the sender?  Maybe give the author the choice.  Should there be a moderator for the comments?  Who would be appointed to do that job?  Would there be any guidelines for the content of the comments?  If so, who should decide that?  The preacher?  After all, it is his message and performance we're judging either by praising it, or poking fun at it...  But, hey wait, I'm a teacher.  Would I want that same comment box posted above the chalkboard or smart board of my classroom during every lesson?  Do I really want to know what my students think of my lessons during my lesson?  Hmmm.  No.  Am I open to questions [about style and content] and constructive criticism after the lesson in a one on one, face to face conversation?  Yes. 

Back to church, in our sermon commenting, would we be sensitive to the tone of the message with our quips?  Would it be in the Holy Spirit's best interest to mock the words he laid upon the preacher to deliver?  Would our posts be guided by faith or by emotion?  Do we know our Bibles well enough and know enough theology to leave educated comments for all to see?  Is it really our job as laypeople to critique each sermon we hear?  For false teaching, yes.  There should be a whole lot of Berean in each of us.  For rhetric and entertainment value, no.  Period.

This was a great idea that was fun to brainstorm in the realms of the what if world our daydreams occasionally allow us to visit now and again.

Silence is acceptance...

Sometimes I feel completely out of the loop. I never (strong word, I know) know what's going on. But, I also think that it's probably my fault. Over the years, whenever I'm in a conversation with someone (usually women) rather it be one-on-one or in a small group, I cannot keep my mouth shut. I try. I really do. But when I hear faulty thinking or flawed reasoning, I point it out.

Let me give an example. The first time I can remember doing this was about 12 years ago. I was riding in the car with a new-friend-candidate. I don't remember the exact conversation or topic, but it was about this speed: Candidate says, "Tomorrow's my mother-in-law's birthday. We're supposed to have a party for her and then go out to eat with [husband's] family. But she's just so nosy and nasty. I just can't stand to be around her. I'm going to call [husband] at work tomorrow and make him take me to the city tomorrow instead. I need to have my nails filled anyway. We can go eat at Spaghetti Warehouse then, too. It's not his favorite, but I like it." Me, totally aghast, "Candidate, you can't do that!" Needless to say, the car fell silent and we still are not "friends" to this day. Although, I do think she's come a long way since then.

Other examples come from when small groups of people will be standing around visiting and one will be on a rant about something that irritates him/her and is voicing some really faulty thinking. I can't help it. I usually speak up and expose the flawed reasoning or squelch the gossip. So, no one ever talks that talk around me because they know I won't listen to it and they don't want to look bad when I have to shut it down. Consequently, I'm out of the loop... which isn't usually a bad thing... only when you miss something important and worthy. I know it's my own fault because I practice the motto that silence is acceptance. Ever been standing around listening to a conversation that isn't lining up with reality or truth? Do you just stand there and politely listen, even smiling maybe? I don't. I can't. If it's something so trivial or something I just don't want to address for various reasons (possibly confidentiality), I simply walk away. By standing there and saying nothing, everyone assumes that I agree with everything being said. By staying silent, I am accepting the conversation as truth or supporting the position of the speaker. I have talked to my children about this over and over. Some days they come home from school and tell me about a conversation and what they chose to do about it.... sometimes they intervene if they feel comfortable to do so, and sometimes they simply walk away so as to not be associated with it at all. Bravo, girls! [insert standing ovation of a proud mama] So, let me ask you... what have you accepted lately?

*We could break into a political discussion here, but I'd just rather not.

A newbie to blogging...

I'm completely new to this whole blogging thing... I've decided that I have a lot to say even if no one is listening, so here it will be. It will be random. It will be easy to read, and it will be completely me. We'll see where it goes from here. Hello, my name is Roshelle. Nice to meet you today.