Be nice? Be good.

When you were a kid and mom left you home alone the first several times to run an errand or attend a short meeting or appointment, what did she tell you just before she left?... besides "Don't burn the house down!"... she'd say "Be good."  Now, when playing with distant cousins who you only see 1-2 times a year, she gives different instructions.  Okay, maybe it wasn't your cousins, but it was that kid who was difficult, demanding and just overall hard to get along with.... the bratty cry-baby who worked his poor parents over.  We all have at least one of those somewhere in our childhood, and what was mom's instructions then?  "Be nice."

Be good.  Be nice.  Why didn't mom tell you to be nice when she ran up to the grocery store for a few minutes?  Say a stranger knocks on the door... hmmm.  Be good or be nice?  The nice thing to do would be to open the door and inquire about the stranger's needs or intentions.  The good thing to do is to ignore him and stay safely locked inside near the telephone.  And why did mom instruct you to be nice instead of be good to the miserable child you encountered on rare occasions?  Along with that "be nice" came an implied Please endure this for just a little while.  I know it's not fair.  I know it's wrong.  Let's just get through this and later we'll all go for ice cream.  Chances are, the boundaries would be set in place for this miserable child who is desprately searching for his boundaries everyday and finding none if this was a regular engagement.

Be nice and be good have two very different meanings.  Be nice=grit your teeth and endure all the while acting in a pleasant manner.  Be nice=tolerance.  Be nice, however, does not equal love.  Be good, on the other hand, means remember everything you've been taught and remember who you are and make the best decision based on this.  Be good means you are worthy of my time and energy and I value you.  Be good=I love you.

Tell me, was Jesus very good at being nice?  How many times did he suck it up, grit his teeth and be nice just to keep the peace instead of rebuking [definition: to scold in a sharp way] bad behavior or faulty thinking?  I'm not talking about the wee hours of the morning on Good Friday here, either.  I assure you that his silence during his "trials" was not because he was being nice, but that's another topic for another day.  When Jesus entered the temple at Jerusalem early in Holy Week, did he smile and endure the exchange that was happening before his eyes?  No.  Jesus began physically intimidating these businessmen by upending tables and sending money and merchandise flying in every direction.  And then he drove them all from the temple with a whip he had braided by his own hand.  [John 2:12-17]  What about the grave rebuking he gave the Pharisee who invited him over for a meal after one of Jesus' days of teaching.  Now, would a nice man deliver a speech like the six woes to a host in his own home? [Luke 11:37-54]  What about the disciples... do you think they would describe Jesus as a nice man?  He kept them on a short chain, reprimanding them everytime it was necessary.  Was he nice about it?  If you think so, I suggest you take another trip through the gospels. 

Is there a reason nice guys finish last?  Of course.  They have no spine.  They don't stand up and do the right thing or the hard thing.  They become the doormat that lets everyone walk all over them in the name of being nice.  In Jesus' earthly ministry, he was not nice.  (He was kind, good, and full of compassion.) Why was he not nice?  The Lord disciplines those he loves.  [Hebrews12:6]  He was trying to get people to be good... to do the right thing, and sometimes it takes drastic measures to be heard.  What about you..... is it okay to simply be nice all the time?  What does love look like at your house?  Deep down, would you rather be known as someone who is good or nice?