What?! You don't let your teen text??

No.  We don't.  She wouldn't even have a phone if it wasn't for our benefit.  Our 8th grader goes to school 35 miles from home, and we have to make connections everyday to and from school, and with all the variables and school activities, we need to be able to communicate.  Initially, she was allowed to text (for the 7-8 weeks she first got her phone until school started for 7th grade).  We wanted the new to wear off of it before school started and to figure out how she would use it, given suggestions but not hard fast rules about its usage.  What we found was a multitude of one word texts... "hey" or something like "wat up" with a whole bunch of people she marginally knows or who she wouldn't otherwise talk to even if they were in the same room together.  We also found that older boys, much older, were texting her.  What a waste of time.  Soon limitations were set and she no longer can text.  She can receive texts from anyone but cannot respond.  There are a limited number of people she is allowed to text... family.  Period.  If she receives a text from a friend that needs a response, she calls them.  Her close friends know she can't text and are fine with it.  She has unlimited calling privileges (well, within reason... not after 10pm).  At first this really bummed our teen out.  But after awhile she began to see it as not so bad.  And even relieving, occasionally.  She still would love to text, but she understands why we choose not to let her.

Why?  Time management and relationship.  My children are very social beings.  We don't want them to lose those social skills.  Life is about people.... real people who have something to say and who laugh.  If you'd never speak to someone who's in the same room with you, why text with them?  Are we really that bored?  Read a book.  Call a girlfriend or an aunt and have a meaningful and/or fun personal conversation.  From a time management point of view, texting can become addicting or simply habit forming and thus a waste of time.... much like email, facebook and other social media.  I admit that I text, but it's to convey simple information quickly with people I know very well.  Often times texting enables the sender to type things -inappropriate things- that they would never say in person.  Also too often, words in texts are misinterpreted.  Without voice pitch, volume, phrasing and emphasis, meaning can be misunderstood.  I allow that only people who really know each other inside and out can regularly text without too much question of intent.

I don't want my children to be labeled social outcasts, but I think if you have a face to face conversation with any one of my daughters, you'll see that's not likely to be a problem.  Ever.  And what an easy way to protect them from themselves for just a little while longer.  Hopefully, by the time they leave my house and are able to text their little hearts out... or thumbs off, they will be past it with many meaningful relationships in their lives.  I'm choosing to be the parent.

Let me throw in one example of where our mindset is coming from.  Rodney has worked closely with the research and development department of a global corporation with mechanical trouble shooting and software feedback.  What he found was that there was one day a whole board room of Generation Yers couldn't communicate face to face in a round table problem solving meeting that the management- baby boomers- called for because of an urgent problem that Rodney discovered.  The Gen Yers had the knowledge and the ideas to remedy the problem, but they could only function through email and texting immediately after the meeting from their computers and phones.  Upon this realization, this particular corporation has changed it's recruiting focus and interview process.  And I'm fairly certain that several of the Gen Yers lost their jobs that day. 

Communication.  Relationship.  It's vital to our lives.

The cross or the crowd...

I recently listened to a sermon that talked about the thoughts and feelings (positive, righteous feelings) that come naturally to committed Christians who literally work everyday at choosing the cross over the crowd.  Read that first statement again... slowly.  Initially, I'm thinking come naturally...  because I'm thinking that natural is carnal, but just maybe, when a believer makes a decision to think and act a certain way... and with years and years and years of practice, maybe it does become natural.  I don't know, maybe.  I've come a long way in 13 years, but I cannot say that for all those years that I've consistently chosen the cross over the crowd, nor can I say that it comes naturally yet.  But that's not the topic of my blog today.  In the application of this message I was listening to, it might have said that extreme and radical following of Christ instead of the crowd will change your life, but it didn't say how.  Let me tell you how it changed mine.

Following Christ puts you against the flow.  Think of a mountain stream- about shin deep or more.  To go with the flow is relaxing... like a gentle float down the river.  A lazy river, if you will.  But have you ever stopped and just stood?   To begin to look around and really see what's going on around you takes much effort and concentration to not lose your balance.  If you are strong enough and choose to start working your way upstream, it's on...   Purposeful, intentional choices and actions as you start your swim against the tide... soon you realize you're meeting friends, family, co-workers who are all moving in the opposite direction.  Still you fight, fight, fight against the flow and it soon becomes easier as you get stronger and you begin reaping the benefits.  But at some point you look around and realize that your friends have abandoned you- even your church friends, possibly your family members, too.  You may be overlooked at work for that promotion or dismissed from consideration in an interview.  If you don't go with the flow, you are seen by the crowd as *uncooperative, a threat to the establishment- the management, the system, the foundation. *I had great difficulty finding the right adjective to correctly convey my meaning here; others that fit almost equally as well are:  contrary, headstrong, unswayable, unbending, resolute.  I have felt this time and time again, situation after situation in every area of my life over the past 3-4 years... since we made a drastic, radical change in our focus, our faith and our obedience to the cross.  I can't begin to tell someone how to prepare for it.  I had no idea it would affect my inner circle so dramatically.  I just hadn't anticipated it, that's all.  It makes sense that it has to infiltrate every portion of your life to make true change that actually changes you.  Friends and family- some will go along for the ride (join you or support you), and others will not.  And that may- no, that will break your heart.  But in the larger picture, what's important is Christ... following Christ, not the crowd.  So go ahead and be contrary, headstrong, unswayable, unbending, and resolute when it comes to following Christ.  It is worth the effort... it is worth the heartbreak... it is worth the division you feel in your earthly relationships because the heavenly blessings are so much richer.