More hurdles (part 3)

I know me.  I cannot cheat or it will become a habit (like after 2x).  I am very strict with my elimination diet.  However, I am terrible at replacing these eliminated foods with healthy, wholesome foods.  I pretty much replaced all my dairy with soy or rice and replaced all my wheat with corn.  I eat a lot of sugar and corn syrup in things like pop, jello & cool whip, snacks... just to name a few.  I love fresh produce, especially out of the garden, but I hate the waste when it isn't used timely.  I love my family eating well, but I hate cooking.  I try to make plenty for leftovers, but it rarely stretches into two complete meals, so to help out I let my family eat the seconds while I drink a pop and eat chips and salsa instead (or something like that).  Over time the sugar and corn overload has caused problems for me as well.  My last trip to Doc, he started talking about Rheumatoid arthritis.  I wanted to cry.  He told me changing my diet could fix it.  Here we go again.... He said to eliminate corn, wheat, dairy, and soy.  Oh, and cut pop and sugar, too.... and all oils but olive oil- no fried foods.  Remember, I'm resilient and resourceful, so I just stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up things I could eat.  I remember reading something long ago about tomatoes and arthritis so I decided to eliminate tomato products, too.  In the grocery store I was just walking the aisles pushing my basket with my swollen fingers and wrists gathering fresh greens, frozen and fresh fruits and items to make smoothies and salads.  I remember getting to the point where I was looking at all the items on the shelves and thinking to myself, "This is poison.   It's all poison to my body."  Almost everything processed and packaged has corn, tomato, gluten or whey in it.  Nothing is easy anymore. 

I saw huge change in that first day already.  By the second day, my health was back but the arthritis remained.  A week later, I'm discouraged that the arthritis is still present but feeling so much better.  Knowing that I didn't get here overnight and that it won't go away overnight isn't much consolation.  I want my grasp and my hands to work like the strong woman that I am.  This is very humbling and irritating.  I'm too young for this disabling state.  I don't like asking my daughters to open my water bottles or turn the key in the ignition for me or my friends to carry things for me.  It's a good thing that I don't have too much pride to ask for help... I have always seen it as a strength to ask for help when in need.  Let others be a blessing.  It's good for everyone.

A month later, I'm learning more and more about foods that inflame and foods that suppress inflammation.  I've studied up on the nutritional supplements that help fight inflammation, too.  It's such a process- that of knowing your health and keeping yourself healthy (and your family, too).  I've come to accept this for now and I do what I can.  The mornings are the worst!  I hurt so badly I can barely get dressed.  Today, I had Rayne tie my shoes.  Other days I've had help hooking my bra.  Getting moving and staying busy is the best medicine along with nutritional supplements and eating correctly.  I'm open for advice on arthritis therapies and nutritional choices and encouragement.   What I miss the most right now is wearing my wedding ring.  I have four fingers that are heavily affected  and swell and my ring finger is one of them.  I haven't share this with very many people- no one likes to listen to someone else's health woes.  This too shall pass... I whole-heartily am believing this right now.

Change... expected and unexpected (part two)

Change.  The first thing to do was to eliminate every offender on each of our lists for a minimum of 90 days without cheating even once!  Easier said than done with 8-9-12 year old children.  Once we ridded the pantry and fridge of all the forbiddens, honestly, there wasn't much left.  Once I started reading the nutrition labels and ingredients lists on everything packaged from the grocery store, it looked even more bleak.  But, I'm resilient and resourceful, and I set my mind to it and figured it out.  I had a handful of friends that I knew were dealing with various and similar diet restrictions.  What an overwhelming blessing they were!  They knew lots of the tricks- where to buy what, how to substitute this, and lots of trial and error notes and recipes.  They literally got me "us" through the first 90 days.  So what did we eat, you are wondering.... eating out was no longer much fun.  Socials were a nightmare.  School lunches were pretty much off-limits with few exceptions.  Regan's school was so helpful in trying to cook for Regan's restrictions.  Those ladies are gems!  The public school, the other hand, wouldn't even bend to let the girls use the microwave for a hot lunch even once a week!  We ate at home, period.  When we left home, we took our food with us.  When we started this, I had no idea how much food my family consumes in a day!  I was cooking and shopping and cooking and shopping all the time!  It was just amazing to me to realize what we were eating and where it was coming from.  What did we eat?  Roast beef (pot roast), chili... thank heavens for frito chili pies in the concession stands through the winter!!  Stew and several variations of soups.  Gluten-free pancakes, bacon, jello, several different cookie recipes I gleaned from my friends.  Steak and baked potatoes.  Cold cereal with rice milk.  Hamburger patties, corn pasta for spaghetti, dairy free butter spread, soy cheese & soy "fake" sour cream, skittles, jelly beans, popcorn.  Eventually I found lots of really tasty things to replace some of the staples, but these things were not to be found in rural western Oklahoma and even hard to track down in Oklahoma City.  Tulsa seemed to be where all the gluten-free (GF), dairy-free (DF) people lived and shopped.... said with heavy sarcasm. The internet became my dry good resource and I buy in bulk.  Even though Amazon carries much of my preferred products, finding these GF/DF products came with a price... about 30-40% increase in costs.  But still, even willing to pay for the higher prices and shopping online, there were just some things that I couldn't replace easily.  Bread was a biggie.  We'd tried a couple different kinds that were just bad.  I was read to give up on bread and did for about 6 months.

The first three months ended right at Thanksgiving.  Was it worth it?  Absolutely!  Regan's inflammation was completely GONE.  She could breath through her nose easily, effortlessly.  First time ever.  Her skin had cleared up, she slimmed down and toned up to a very healthy weight.  Rosalind's tummy troubles were GONE.  Rayne's skin mysteries were GONE!  No more steroid cream for her!  Rodney felt better and lost around 20 pounds.  I had just come through the easiest allergy season since its onset and felt great and had lots of energy.  All five of us were feeling amazing.

Thanksgiving day I gave my family permission to "cheat" with some self-control.  We maintained our diets through December with occasional splurging on the holiday favorites.  I can say for myself that I ate one item (a cookie or a roll) about once a week for 4 weeks, and it took all of January to recover.  It was so-not-worth-it for me, so I went back to the rigid elimination diet.  First week of January, Rodney had gotten into some oreo balls that he didn't know were full of forbidden ingredients.  I watched him eat them... several of them.  I thought, "he's a big boy.  He can make those decisions for himself."  He had just told me the night to two before how eating gluten upset his stomach and made him miserable.  He wasn't too happy when those balls started reeking havoc in his tummy.... and when I told him that I watched him eat them without saying anything.

I expected it to be hard- really hard.  I expected some mourning over the eliminated foods.  I expected to feel some better because of my efforts (fallacy).  I expected to receive help and support from those closest to me (um, false).  I expected it to be costly.  I expected to get sick of the meals on the approved food list.  I expected to be cooking all the time.  I expected the battle with the children.

I didn't expect the resistance from family and friends.  I didn't expect to be treated and spoke to like I was completely crazy.  I didn't expect to feel 100% better.  I didn't expect my whole family to benefit from it so quickly and visibly.  I hadn't thought through the social aspect of food and the challenge of eating at someone else's house or at a party or group social.  I hadn't realized how much I would miss going out to eat.  But it doesn't end here.

A necessary evil- part one

Who knew that anyone could consider food a necessary evil?!  I have some friends who truly savor each bite of their favorite foods- you can hear it in their soft sighs of contentment while they eat.  I like good food, don't get me wrong, but anymore it just doesn't seem worth the effort.  I wish so badly that there was a pill or a shake that could nourish my body for prime health and that I could skip eating altogether.

Last summer I took a trip to Seattle for an appointment at the IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) Treatment Center.  Why in the world would I choose to see a doctor in Washington you ask?   Dr. Wangen is an MD who also has IBS and also utilizes holistic/alternative/natural medicine in his practice.  These three characteristics (MD, has IBS, believes in alternative medicine) in common was exactly what I was looking for to help me.  Practical, practical, practical!  Let's treat the cause not the symptoms and use every resource available to achieve good health.  AND he's been there and done that!  A bonus of empathy!  Have I been diagnosed with IBS?  No, but after extensive reading & research and much time, thought, and prayer, I knew this trip would be worth my time and money.

And it was.  I learned so much more and had my fears set at ease, but the changes to come were going to be so hard.... in reality, so much harder than just sheer willpower.  Upon receiving test results, I learned of the foods that my body considers allergens. The primary weapon that our bodies use against invaders is the production of antibodies. The antibodies cause reactions that result in the offending allergens being removed from the body. In many people, foods act as allergens rather than nutrition.  This list of now prohibited foods was not pretty.... wheat, dairy, bananas, pecans, gluten, pineapple, eggs, asparagus, broccoli, .... the list goes on.  Elimination was the goal.  Once I set my mind to something, it's done.  Elimination began immediately.  Mainly I "got by" on corn chips, 2 bean-corn dip, and Dr. Pepper.  Allergy season was approaching quickly and after a month of this new way of eating, I found that I had handled allergy season better than I ever had since the onset of my allergies 10 years prior.  Yea!! Huge victory, and many of my IBS symptoms were either manageable or gone, too.

My oldest daughter (12 yrs. old) suffers from allergies. too.  When it's bad, she's almost asthmatic.  Inflamed nasal passages and mouth breathing are completely normal for her anytime of the year.  [Yes, we've had her to conventional allergy doctors with no relief]  Rodney and I decided to take her to our local center that does some of the same tests I traveled to Seattle to get.  In a month we tested three more- Rodney, Regan and Rosalind.  I described Regan's symptoms.  Rodney knew there was better health available and his weight was a concern.  Rosalind had irregular digestive pains (unexplainable tummy aches).  And Rayne who we did not test at that time (due to cost) has a metal/skin allergy and increasing skin conditions causing rashes, hives, etc. [And yes, I've had Rayne to several conventional doctors with not much explanation or relief-  I even diagnosed the metal allergy after an dermatologist at OU Med. Center missed it! Ridiculous.]  Needless to say, our test results we all different but with a very common thread... allergic to dairy, wheat, gluten, eggs... Everything else varied quiet a bit.  Some foods listed made Regan rejoice!  Lettuce, for example, lol.  Anyway, now we were all on elimination diets.  No more "getting by".  It was a full-fledged change for the whole family.

A tat for you?

Okay, my brother's best friend's brother... (did you follow that?) has a college math professor who every year teaches his students several equations that are vital to passing his class.  One of them, he goes so far as to joke with the students and tell them that they might as well tattoo it on their arm... it's that vital that they know it.  Well, Phillip did.... inside of one of the tattoos already on his arm.  It's not very noticible to the average person taking a quick glance, but useable, nonetheless.  When Phillip showed the professor, he was speechless.  He told Phillip that he'd been telling students that for 20 years and no one has ever done it.

My initial reaction was a smile and "wow..." but after I started thinking about it, over the last 20 years there probably weren't many college students with lots of tattoos as the "norm".  Sure, there were several who had a few small ones here and there- usually covered up but none you could hide the quadratic formula inside virtually unnoticed... on the forearm.

I was going to leave this subject alone, but when I heard this story, it really made me think.

I've heard it said that we live in a bubble here in Western Oklahoma... in a small farming community in the heart of the wheat belt and the heart of the Bible belt... i.e. I live in an area pretty sheltered by social norms of the big cities or the coasts.  Recently, my friend circle was in a discussion about tattoos and how we view them personally.  Several wanted to label them as sinful.  Others were okay with them, but would never get one themselves.  Some have one and have regretted it some later.  Some just didn't like them.  I can understand the regret; it's pretty much for life.  I can go with the "it's okay for you but not for me" thought, but I just can stand behind the belief that it's a sin.   Yes, I hear you.  I know it's in the Bible.  Leviticus 19:28 says Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.  In this passage God is instructing the Israelites to refrain from pagan rituals of the people living around them at the time.  Did you realize that it also says just 9 verses earlier in verse 19 Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. You know what that means don't you?  All of us wearing our 50/50 cotton/poly  blends are sinners, too, if we take every law handed down to the Israelites literally.  I'm sorry.  You can't pick and choose.  The good news is that we, Christians don't live under that law anymore.  Jesus came to fulfill the law and release us from the 613 Old Testament laws were part of God's plan to prove that we humans are unable to keep the law, laws, rules, etc.. on our own and therefore we needed a Savior.

Look at Gal 3:23-35 Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

This Savior talked and taught about many subjects during his earthly ministry... even 9 of the 10 commandments (excluding the Sabbeth). Jesus' greatest two commandments were love your God... and love your neighbor as yourself... in knowing Jesus and loving Jesus, it would be assumed then that our intent would be to live to please him and serve him. In order to please and serve someone, one must know them very well to know how to choose for them. Therefore all his teachings would be learned to know his heart, personality, and preferences....I think we have a hard time with just following two rules that seem so easy. Actually they are so hard. It requires us to think every single day and act every single day. We must constantly be evaluating our actions objectively and making adjustments to keep God above all and everything else in balance.  That said, I do not believe that Jesus ever addressed tattoos or dismissed them.

But, because I live in this "bubble", honestly, seeing men and women who are heavily tattooed where it is highly visible still shocks me a little as do body piercings beyond earlobes.  I think it affects me this way because 1.  I'm trying so hard to act "normal", but  2.  I'm curious to look, and  3.  I'm wondering "why did this individual decide to do this?" all the while, 4.  trying not to pass judgment and 5.  not be discovered that I am initially uncomfortable because of the tattoos or piercings.  I know.  It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?  I actually have a couple cousins who are normal, functioning people with lots of tattoos.  I have a male cousin with earrings who is also a completely normal heterosexual, and several of my friends have tattoos.  I also have a cousin in prison for murder and to my knowledge, he has no piercings or tattoos. 

So where do I stand on this subject?  Do I have one- no.  Do I consider it sin- no.  Do I want one- no.  Do I want my kids to get one- no, but it is my job as a parent to tell them that and then to give them all the information available to help them make an objective decision when the time comes. Times are changing everywhere outside my bubble, and slowly my bubble is being invaded by more and more social norms from across the country.  Inside my bubble, business owners still won't hire employees with visible tattoos and body piercing must be removed during working hours.  Inside my bubble, most locals still look down on these things and judge those with tattoos and body piercings as inappropriate or even as sinful.

Clothed in attitude

I read a short article by Greg Laurie the other day about Ruth Graham being in the hospital with her fourth hip replacement surgery and hearing the news that her beloved, Billy, was coming in to see her that morning.  The article interviewed Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of the Grahams.  Anne told of how Mrs. Graham got up from her wheelchair and asked Anne to help her put on a new dress and fix her hair and makeup.  The article went on to explain the love between the Grahams and the high priority  Mrs. Graham put on looking her best for her husband.  Then it starting urging wives to do the same today.  My first thought was "yeah!" and my very next was "how absurd....". 

For a woman in her "twilight" years as they described her, this was something women often did for their husbands.  (I assume.)  But today, I have friends that don't even own a dress.  I also have friends that won't generally leave the house without full make up and are horrified if you catch them at it.  I have friends that are so vain... who are always making statements like, "I'm so out of shape."  "I need to lose about 15 pounds."  "Oh my gosh, look at me... I look horrible."  Statements like this go in one ear and out the other for me, so I cannot imagine how tuned out their husbands are to these types of comments.  These are women that don't dress for their husbands, they dress for themselves and everyone else around them.  I have other friends that only wear oversized t-shirts and sweats or gym shorts... (elastic waistbands).  The self-esteem of these women is very low, too, much like that of the vain woman.  Yeah, yeah... I hear you loud and clear- comfort.  I don't buy it.  I just wish that these women could look in the mirror and see what God sees at this weight or this season of their lives.  He sees his very own masterpiece.  I wish every woman could go shopping with a professional stylist, much like Stacey London and Clinton Kelly on "What Not to Wear".  Time and time again you hear them saying to dress for the body you have right now, not for the one you wish you had...  God's idea of perfection is not a certain size or weight; it's the whole package.  I believe his idea of the perfect woman is one who is balanced. Women are beautiful creatures, but what makes us lovely?  I will tell you that it's not our individual features which we were born with but what we do with them and the attitude in which we occupy them.  There is nothing more lovely that a woman who loves herself and loves her husband... who is content in her heart and serves others.  People are attracted to her but not because of her outward beauty but because of her confidence and her attitude.  A balanced woman is completely comfortable and satisfied in her own skin and her attitude is that of love and gratitude.  So back to the original thought that triggered this line of thinking for me- I don't think a new dress and a little makeup can fix  the sour attitude so many women have.  Even a beauty queen is ugly with an attitude of a shrew.  And yes, I occasionally wear gym shorts and oversized t-shirts.... but look for every excuse to pull out the "little black dress" my husband loves to see me in.

Be nice? Be good.

When you were a kid and mom left you home alone the first several times to run an errand or attend a short meeting or appointment, what did she tell you just before she left?... besides "Don't burn the house down!"... she'd say "Be good."  Now, when playing with distant cousins who you only see 1-2 times a year, she gives different instructions.  Okay, maybe it wasn't your cousins, but it was that kid who was difficult, demanding and just overall hard to get along with.... the bratty cry-baby who worked his poor parents over.  We all have at least one of those somewhere in our childhood, and what was mom's instructions then?  "Be nice."

Be good.  Be nice.  Why didn't mom tell you to be nice when she ran up to the grocery store for a few minutes?  Say a stranger knocks on the door... hmmm.  Be good or be nice?  The nice thing to do would be to open the door and inquire about the stranger's needs or intentions.  The good thing to do is to ignore him and stay safely locked inside near the telephone.  And why did mom instruct you to be nice instead of be good to the miserable child you encountered on rare occasions?  Along with that "be nice" came an implied Please endure this for just a little while.  I know it's not fair.  I know it's wrong.  Let's just get through this and later we'll all go for ice cream.  Chances are, the boundaries would be set in place for this miserable child who is desprately searching for his boundaries everyday and finding none if this was a regular engagement.

Be nice and be good have two very different meanings.  Be nice=grit your teeth and endure all the while acting in a pleasant manner.  Be nice=tolerance.  Be nice, however, does not equal love.  Be good, on the other hand, means remember everything you've been taught and remember who you are and make the best decision based on this.  Be good means you are worthy of my time and energy and I value you.  Be good=I love you.

Tell me, was Jesus very good at being nice?  How many times did he suck it up, grit his teeth and be nice just to keep the peace instead of rebuking [definition: to scold in a sharp way] bad behavior or faulty thinking?  I'm not talking about the wee hours of the morning on Good Friday here, either.  I assure you that his silence during his "trials" was not because he was being nice, but that's another topic for another day.  When Jesus entered the temple at Jerusalem early in Holy Week, did he smile and endure the exchange that was happening before his eyes?  No.  Jesus began physically intimidating these businessmen by upending tables and sending money and merchandise flying in every direction.  And then he drove them all from the temple with a whip he had braided by his own hand.  [John 2:12-17]  What about the grave rebuking he gave the Pharisee who invited him over for a meal after one of Jesus' days of teaching.  Now, would a nice man deliver a speech like the six woes to a host in his own home? [Luke 11:37-54]  What about the disciples... do you think they would describe Jesus as a nice man?  He kept them on a short chain, reprimanding them everytime it was necessary.  Was he nice about it?  If you think so, I suggest you take another trip through the gospels. 

Is there a reason nice guys finish last?  Of course.  They have no spine.  They don't stand up and do the right thing or the hard thing.  They become the doormat that lets everyone walk all over them in the name of being nice.  In Jesus' earthly ministry, he was not nice.  (He was kind, good, and full of compassion.) Why was he not nice?  The Lord disciplines those he loves.  [Hebrews12:6]  He was trying to get people to be good... to do the right thing, and sometimes it takes drastic measures to be heard.  What about you..... is it okay to simply be nice all the time?  What does love look like at your house?  Deep down, would you rather be known as someone who is good or nice?

What if we could Facebook a sermon...

Regardless of your computer savvy, if you use a PC and have internet access, most likely you have a routine... places you check, shop or visit regularly.  If you haven't noticed, every site you visit wants  you to respond to the content you read regardless of your knowledge about the subject.  Or if you have knowledge of a particular product or service, sites want your opinion or a review from you measuring the worth of a product or a service.  Do you Facebook?  Do you watch Youtube?  Do you follow any blogs?  Do you check the latest headlines via the internet?  On each of these sites, they want your comments- thus the little expandable comment box at the bottom of each post.

During our Sunday morning worship services, projected on the big screen front and center is everything from announcements to praise music words to video clips and visual aids for the preacher's sermon.  Occasionally I fill in operating the equipment when the normal overhead projection person (Deborah, what is your title anyway??) is absent.  Recently, while filling in, I had a thought....  I was listening to our preacher presenting his sermon and following his notes and changing the slides when prompted to do so, and I wondered what it would be like if there was a comment box projected on the big screen front and center?  What if we could post our amens or our little quips of wit for everyone in the congregation to see and enjoy during the sermon?  Initially I thought I'd really thought of something clever and I was enjoying my private "what if" party.  I couldn't decided if these comments would be anonymous or reveal the sender?  Maybe give the author the choice.  Should there be a moderator for the comments?  Who would be appointed to do that job?  Would there be any guidelines for the content of the comments?  If so, who should decide that?  The preacher?  After all, it is his message and performance we're judging either by praising it, or poking fun at it...  But, hey wait, I'm a teacher.  Would I want that same comment box posted above the chalkboard or smart board of my classroom during every lesson?  Do I really want to know what my students think of my lessons during my lesson?  Hmmm.  No.  Am I open to questions [about style and content] and constructive criticism after the lesson in a one on one, face to face conversation?  Yes. 

Back to church, in our sermon commenting, would we be sensitive to the tone of the message with our quips?  Would it be in the Holy Spirit's best interest to mock the words he laid upon the preacher to deliver?  Would our posts be guided by faith or by emotion?  Do we know our Bibles well enough and know enough theology to leave educated comments for all to see?  Is it really our job as laypeople to critique each sermon we hear?  For false teaching, yes.  There should be a whole lot of Berean in each of us.  For rhetric and entertainment value, no.  Period.

This was a great idea that was fun to brainstorm in the realms of the what if world our daydreams occasionally allow us to visit now and again.